No quitter

Corpse pose

In corpse pose, I lied on the floor tears running down my face. Tears of relief, satisfaction, joy, completion. I've taken Yoga many times before and prior to my fractured leg it was a part of my regular workout routine. I love how it makes me feel -- connected. It's rare that we sit still with ourselves, breathe, stretch, connect...Aww...

There was a sub instructor in yesterday's Yoga class. By the looks of her body she was advanced and her rapid, effortless cues through sequences confirmed my thoughts. The sequences of poses were challenging and she spoke with a thick accent which made it a little difficult to follow. After about 15 minutes I wanted to leave class, I had let way too many bad thoughts in and was way too irritated, combined with the rapid sequence of: Downward Facing Dog, High Plank, Upperward Dog. I was being challenged outside of my comfort zone, and I did not like it.

As the rest of the class followed, I returned to Child's Pose to rest,  I decided enough and grabbed my socks...In that moment, she cued us to another sequence -- one in which, I could manage, so I joined back in and went with the flow. The flow led us to Warrior 2 pose -- this pose always makes me feel strong, liberated. I was a little wobbly,  probably because my mind was so rattled , but as the sequence progressed I began to connect.

It's been a long while since I felt so compromised, vulnerable in a group class. I desperately wanted to leave, get off the mat, and walk out. Walking out would be so easy. So, so easy. Staying there being compromised, challenged, oooooo so very hard. Hard, but gratifying. I realize that I can't progress to the next level if I don't conquer the current level. I'm a huge fan of pro tennis -- Serena Williams is one of my favorite. If she quit because something was too challenging she would not be the champion she is.

There are a number of reasons I could not walk out that room: Pride and character being the top two. I stayed in the classroom because I didn't want the stares as I walked out and I didn't want the guilt of not finishing on my conscience. I didn't walk out because that would have been easy. I didn't leave because that represents - quitting. And, I'm no quitter. I stayed because I'm a woman of strong character who finishes what she starts. Yes, it's only a Yoga class, but as I stated in an earlier blog post Nothing Owns Me. If I can't make it through a challenging Yoga class this type of behavior will start to effect other aspects of my life.

As class came to a close and my eyes were full of tears, I thought of every out-of-shape person (the underdog) who ever felt compromised in a group class - I dedicate this blog post  to you. I stayed in that class for me, but as I stood to my feet I realized it was for you too. Don't ever leave because it's challenging, that's the very reason you stay.

**Of course, if you are physically hurt than you would not stay. It's only if you are scared to move outside of your comfort zone -- to challenge yourself that I highly recommend you stay.



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What I Preach

Yesterday's blog post was about my need to prioritize. My battle with obesity and creating, living a healthy life comes with all sorts of twists and turns. So I was thinking about the message I delivered last week. I urged my audience to make adjustments, stay the course, and believe in self. I've been in this situation before when life seems overwhelming and I've always made the necessary adjustments. Folks, I can proudly say I practice what I preach.

Here's the ending snippet of my speech:

I’m asked this question, all the time…What keeps you motivated?

My answer, I want to win. I treat my battle with obesity and challenges in life like a tennis match. For years, my serve was weak and I often left the court on the losing end. But, no longer. Ladies and gentlemen, call me Victor. Because victory is mine.

As I conclude remember:

Hard work, making adjustments, staying the course, and believing in yourself are all key ingredients to being successful.

Like Winston Churchill said: Never, never, never, never, never give up.

My big mouth

Oh my, what have I done? One too many email exchanges and I’ve committed myself to participate in a half marathon. First off, I’m not even a runner. Secondly, I don’t really want to be a runner. Although I have experienced the runner’s high before and I admit I do kind of like it. Next, and probably most importantly I have some pretty bad knees. Megan, however, agreed that I could pull this off. And, without her approval, well I just wouldn't do it. At this point, she knows what my physical limits are more than I do.

Yesterday, I met with a girlfriend who shared her marathon experience with me and a neighbor recently gave me her insights too. The consensus is that I should run part and walk part. My goal is to run at least five miles. I hear this guy Jeff Galloway’s program is the best to follow. He prescribes that you run and walk in intervals the whole course. So following his theory, Megan, and countless other folks who will feed me information I’m sure to meet the challenge.  But, just so we’re clear -- I’m petrified. How on earth are my legs going to carry me 13.1 miles? In 130 days I’ll find out. I guess, I should shut my fat trap and get to training. Heavy sigh. Me and my big mouth.

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I’m training for the Vancouver USA Marathon. That does sound kind of cool. Oh and the bragging rights after completion will be so sweet.

The Challenge

This morning, my body aches, especially my feet. Oh my, aching feet! There are a number of possible culprits – but, I’m putting my money on the StairMaster® StepMill®. For some reason, or another – could be my stubbornness or plain stupidity, I just insist on climbing on the thing. Never mind, I sweat like a pig, pant, and can barely talk during the ten whole minutes while I’m on there. I can’t seem to get enough.

One thing, I’m learning about myself through this journey is I like to conquer things. A couple of months ago I took a cycling class and only made it through half the class (mostly due to the HARD seat). Anyhow, it bothered me that I was unable to stay for the entire class. So within two days I was back in cycling class and that time was able to complete the entire class. I’ve been back to cycling class a few times since then and have all but decided I really don’t like it, but I now know physically I can do it.

So…I think that’s my obsession with the StairMaster ®, I just want to know that I’m capable of doing it for more than ten minutes. Once I can get up to at least 30 minutes then maybe I’ll succumb, but until then I’ll keep stepping away. Let’s hope I can get up to 30 minutes without incident soon because I tell you -- that is an intense workout for a girl my size. The other day, I swear this older gent was looking so concerned I thought he was going to call for help. All jokes a side, there’s nothing I can’t physically conquer. Yes, it may be physically uncomfortable. Sure, it may cause me to be in compromised positions. But, no matter, I’m up for the challenge and until I’m personally satisfied with the results, I keep trying. I physically challenge myself more each day.


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I thought this was a great description of their product: “For 25 years, the StairMaster® StepMill® has been called the toughest workout in the gym. We don’t think that’s fair. We think it just might be the toughest workout anywhere. For members who want real results and a real workout, there is no substitute.” From StairMaster® marketing team