It's heavy

As the cashier loaded my grocery bag she cautioned, "It's heavy." I smirked and replied, "Yeah that's fine. I got it. Thanks."

She's right, it was a little heavy, but it wasn't that heavy. I'm 40 years old, in relatively good shape. So, carrying a 13 pound bag should be no problem - is no problem.

I haven't been actively working out at the gym lately, but I realize there are so many other forms of exercise outside of the gym that I can do. Some very basic things. Starting with, using my body for what it was intended. The simplest, most overlooked form of exercise -- walking. There are real health benefits to walking. Okay, so maybe you won't get buffed from walking. And sure, there's more advanced forms of exercise for folks that are fit, but no matter walking is the simplest, lowest impact form of cardio exercise. Oh, and it's stress reliever and great mood booster too.

So, I've made a pact with myself to sneak in exercise whenever, where ever. One way, I do this is to walk to my errands that are within a one mile radius of my house.  Come to think about it, it seems shameful to drive a car to go such a short distance. My walking errands are good for the environment and me too.

Back to the "heavy" bag. I strapped the cloth reusable bag around my left shoulder, positioned it snugly on my right hip, and back on the road I went. My stride was a little shorter going home with the groceries in tow, but I felt good. Real good. I like using my body for what it was designed for: moving, walking, carrying stuff.

"Nature designed walking as the most basic and the main form of locomotion and transportation for human beings. Therefore it is essential for optimal health and function that this basic form of movement is a regular part of our daily lives. It is very simple and logical - the more we do things our bodies were naturally designed to do, the more functional our bodies become." Read more from the article here.

With that said, I chose to -- move it so I don't lose it!

Also read: Spark People's Walking Guide

Rare sighting

Saturday, I got dressed. Glimpsed in the mirror and actually liked what I saw. A rarity.

Excited. I called my daughter in my room for confirmation and she too agreed. I'm looking more toned and there's noticeably less back fat (with no girdle thingy even).

Somethin' about looking good that makes me feel good. I realize, I put a lot of emphasis on the way I look and perhaps I don't tout the health benefits as much as I should. Believe me, I am grateful that by changing my ways I have increased my odds of living better and longer, reduced the stress on my heart and knees. But coming from a place of morbid obesity and losing 170 odd pounds, it's hard to look in the mirror and still be confronted with fat. I mean, I lost the equivalent weight of an adult male. So to still look in the mirror and be fat... I know, I know. I shouldn't, but I do. Anyway, I'm not even going there right now.

Rather, I'm celebrating. Celebrating health, fitness. Celebrating my hard work and dedication. Celebrating my success. For once, I looked in the mirror and didn't mind so much the way I looked.

There was a rare sighting this weekend. I'm working, however, on changing that to a common day occurrence.

Confessions

1. I'm not perfect - surprise.
2. I feel like a hypocrite... 
3. I ate out of pure emotion last night.

The last few days since the release of the article have been emotionally overwhelming for me -- in a good way. This is everything I wanted lots of traffic to the blog, positive feedback about my progress -- and to inspire and motivate others. Heck, that's why I blog, but seeing it all come together is a little much.  

I've often said this before I'm no reality TV contestant.  I'm not farmed away at some facility working the weight off because of a monetary prize or for fame. I don't have a staff of personal trainers and a chef. Nor do I get the luxury of dodging my everyday affairs while I'm off taping the show. I'm right in the thick of life. Beyond my battle with obesity I'm a single mother, daughter, friend, dog owner. I juggle finances, relationships -- you get the jist. It's business as usual and somedays it all just becomes too much. 

Yesterday, was one of those days. I was on an emotional high from all the hype about the article. I went to get the mail  and there's a letter from the unemployment office -- no check this week. Huh? So I had to stop and call them to figure out why. Then my dog hurt himself and required a visit to the vet. Did I just mention I didn't get a check this week? Heavy sigh. With all the emotions the ups and the downs -- I longed for the familiar: Butter, sugar, chocolate chips in the form of a cookie. Trust me, I knew I was merely craving the cookies out of emotion but I longed for the kind of comfort that didn't require discussion or much thought. If I called a friend that would require me to actually talk through it and quite frankly I was tapped out from communicating. Okay, so why not take a walk? I just didn't want to.  So, I say all this to say, I baked a half batch of my signature chocolate chip cookies last night and ate them out of pure emotion.

News flash: This is life folks. I'm doing the best I can to battle obesity and manage life. Somedays I have slip- ups and eat chocolate chip cookies. Make no mistake today is a new day and I won't let yesterday stop me from making my ultimate goal. For once and for all, Farewell Fatso!