Thankful

Today, I'm thankful to God for giving me the strength, courage, and belief in myself to battle obesity. Battling obesity has been one of the hardest things I've done in my life. And, while I've yet to beat obesity entirely I'm so grateful for the progress I've made. Today, I'm healthier and happier. I know that I couldn't do it without God's Grace and Mercy.

For anyone out there struggling with your weight...YOU can do anything you set your mind to. Take it from someone who knows...I used to weigh 388 pounds and have lost 170 pounds with a change in my attitude, diet, and incorporating exercise.

PRAY to God
BELIEVE you can
LOVE yourself every step of the way
FORGIVE yourself when you stumble
SURROUND yourself with healthy, positive people

Repost: From Within

Once a miserable 388 pounds, I decided I loved myself enough to try. Try to be better. Be happier, be healthier, and lose the weight. All the weight: emotional, spiritual, physical.

When you're in a dark, cold space trapped under 388 pounds light seems non-existent. I traveled many dark, foggy tunnels before I saw a glimpse of light. I had a negative spirit, negative attitude, and a negative outlook. In the depths of darkness, however, there was a nagging voice within, telling me: I deserved more. I was worthy. I could be better. After sitting still with myself and some serious soul searching I was able to hear that voice loud and clear. The voice within instructed me to stop wallowing in my pity, put my thoughts to action, and create the life I envisioned for myself.  The voice within gave me hope, courage, and belief. The voice is the very reason I was able to see my way out of the dark, foggy tunnel. I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life. Today, I stand in the light. 

Originally posted on December 30, 2011

Healthy Looks

Confession: For a long time my weight loss efforts were tied to me achieving a certain look, and I associated being healthy with that look. It wasn't until I started working out at Northwest Personal Training (NWPT) that my attitude changed. 

Coming from a place of morbid obesity at the onset of my weight loss journey, I was losing the weight to save my life. I was so big -- 388 pounds, so miserable. I could barely walk, barely breathe. I was taking meds to control my high blood pressure and I was on the verge of developing a slew of other health problems. Once I started shedding the pounds and working out regularly my focus changed. I seemed to be skewing health and looks together. 

In retrospect, I now realize that working out in a corporate gym environment contributed to my skewed outlook. Sure, there were your average looking folks who were concerned with their health and fitness who worked out at the corporate gym, but mostly there were a lot of model like men and women. I started wanting to look like them. Be like them. I was pressuring myself to get to goal weight, obsessing over the scale, and trying to achieve a look. It was so superficial. So unreal. So unhealthy.

When I first started working out at NWPT in April, I had the same mentality -- get to goal weight, wear a size x and be healthy, fit. That wasn't happening fast enough and I was beating myself up. It was a conversation that I had with Sherri McMillian owner of NWPT that really started changing my focus. She told me that she wanted me not to worry so much about losing weight, but instead concentrate on getting stronger.

Months later, working out beside some of the strongest, healthiest folks at NWPT, I realize that healthy isn't about looks. Healthy is a way of life. Exercising. And not just exercising at the gym, finding physical activities that you enjoy and making them a part of your life. Eating well. Resting. Loving yourself. I'm proud to say, I no longer am focused solely on the way I look. Rather, I'm focused on putting all the pieces together -- it's a holistic approach. Sure, I still want to get to goal weight and by doing so inevitably my looks will change.  But now my focus is about truly being healthy and strong I'm not sure that really has a certain look.

Simple things

I don't want to start this blog off on the negative, but the fact of the matter is being weighed down by 388 pounds kind of limits your ability to do things. Normal everyday things. Things most people take for granted.

Now, that I've shed the pounds let me tell you...It's a wonderful thing to be able to walk effortlessly, bend over and tie my shoes, cross my legs, and heck -- help move a sofa.

Yesterday, I proudly helped my uncle move my new sofa. We unloaded it from the truck, and carried it 25 feet into the house. It felt good to kneel down, pick the sofa up, and haul it.

Today, I celebrate my body and the ordinary everyday functions that I am able to perform. The countless weight lifting and cardio classes I've endured have not been taken in vain. I'm stronger and more flexible. Coming from a place of morbid obesity makes me appreciate the simple things.  They haven't always been so simple.

Rare sighting

Saturday, I got dressed. Glimpsed in the mirror and actually liked what I saw. A rarity.

Excited. I called my daughter in my room for confirmation and she too agreed. I'm looking more toned and there's noticeably less back fat (with no girdle thingy even).

Somethin' about looking good that makes me feel good. I realize, I put a lot of emphasis on the way I look and perhaps I don't tout the health benefits as much as I should. Believe me, I am grateful that by changing my ways I have increased my odds of living better and longer, reduced the stress on my heart and knees. But coming from a place of morbid obesity and losing 170 odd pounds, it's hard to look in the mirror and still be confronted with fat. I mean, I lost the equivalent weight of an adult male. So to still look in the mirror and be fat... I know, I know. I shouldn't, but I do. Anyway, I'm not even going there right now.

Rather, I'm celebrating. Celebrating health, fitness. Celebrating my hard work and dedication. Celebrating my success. For once, I looked in the mirror and didn't mind so much the way I looked.

There was a rare sighting this weekend. I'm working, however, on changing that to a common day occurrence.