Me, Myself, and I

There I was all by myself, trembling, sweating, and about to give up on the  plank. No Megan. No Group X instructor. Just me, myself, and I. If I gave in and released the plank, who would know? It was in that moment I recalled being in Boot Camp fatigued and ready to collapse to the ground from plank position when the instructor, Jen said these words, “Don’t give up on yourself.” I held the plank that day because of those inspiring words and ever since have used them to help me get through tough workouts. After all, throughout all this there is only me. This isn’t a show for anyone else. I don’t show up at the gym just because I want to be seen there or have bragging rights about having gone there. I started this journey because of an internal desire to change myself. At 388 lbs. I was a miserable soul, so whenever I get discouraged or feel like giving up I remember the alternative. This battle is not being fought for Megan or anyone else. This battle is mine and mine alone. I push myself to the limit because I never, ever, ever want to return to that lonely, miserable place again. I push myself because I want to be healthy and fit. I push myself because I want to look good. Heck, one day I want to sashay around in a pair of 4” heels. So when I’m working out and at the brink of giving up from embarrassment, fatigue, or a combination thereof, I push through. This is a battle I’m determined to win. I will never give up on myself.