Slowly but surely

A couple years ago, heck, even two months ago, I would have been beating myself up pretty bad about my current state. You see, the past few months I've been very busy in the community: Motivational talks, lectures, cooking classes, on and on. So, busy that truthfully I haven't been as dedicated to my fitness and weight loss goals. I can't recall the last time I worked out at the gym and I haven't recorded a decrease on the scale in umpteen months.

I'm 40 years old and have been overweight my entire life. I've never been what you called a "normal" size. I'm not sure what the statistics on beating childhood obesity are, but I'm sure they're slim (no pun intended). Despite what the statistics may be, to date with a conscious change to my diet, mindful eating, and exercise I've lost 170 pounds. I am proud of myself for what I have accomplished.  But I also can be pretty hard on myself for what I haven't accomplished.

The more mature, intuitive Chrisetta, recognizes that it's pretty unrealistic of me to think that I can make obesity go away overnight or even in a span of a few years. The Chrisetta of the past would have beat herself up for being in this current state of flux. Called herself names. But no longer. I'm a place in my life, a place in this journey where I'm not going to let those negative thoughts consume me. That's a part of the battle -- learning to not think and speak negative thoughts, learning to be kinder, more flexible and forgiving of myself. Does that mean that I am giving up on my goals? Quite the opposite. It just means that instead of pushing myself so hard, focusing so much on the destination.  I'm going to ease up -- live a healthy, fulfilled life, and enjoy the journey.
 
Today, I'm healthier, happier, more peaceful and content. Oh, and 170 pounds lighter. Slowly but surely, I'm saying farewell to my old childhood nemesis, obesity.

Beyond the scale

Hopped on the scale this morning, and I did NOT like the bright red number staring back at me.

I'll admit, I'm still kinda inclined to tie my fitness and health to the number on the scale. I've read plenty of articles that tell me not to get attached to the number. I've even had personal trainers tell me the same. But, for some reason I just keep hopping on the scale. Obsessing over the darn scale. I have even written a few blogs about my scale obsession in the past -- claiming I was going to free myself of the obsession. The scale obsession. Why? Oh, why? Am I still obsessing over the numbers, the scale. Honestly, I don't know.

What I do know: I've been cycling like crazy the last several weeks and I have cycling buns to prove it. Yup, that's right my tush is getting tight, my legs are toning up, and I can see a nice definition in my calves. And I feel good. So whatever scale. I can't and won't be detoured. I'll keep riding. Riding hard, and one day not only will I have the sleek, toned body of a cyclist, but the numbers on the scale will decrease too.

In the meantime, I'll keep reminding myself: Everyday I cycle and eat right I'm becoming fitter, healthier, and stronger. It's time to look beyond the scale.

.

Three weeks difference

This actually happened a few weeks ago right before I came down with the flu. A must share…
 
I was having a bad day. A really bad day. The last few days, my mind had been full of the negative self-talk combined with self-doubt. I’d been working out hard for weeks and eating clean as I possibly could. I was really questioning myself, my efforts.  Maybe this is it for me. Maybe this is goal weight and I just need to face it. Maybe there is no Next Level, Fit by Forty.

I lost five pounds the first week I started training with Northwest Personal Training, but then the scale was fluctuating and not necessarily in my favor. I looked in the mirror and wanted to smash it out of pure disgust. Especially, the studio mirrors. My goodness!

On this particular day I really, really didn’t like what I saw. Sorry. I know, I’m supposed to be your positive role model, your real example. I’d be remiss though not to share my true feelings. I’ve said this umpteen times it’s more than a battle of obesity it’s a battle of self. Day in, day out.  

Any of you who have met me, know how dramatic and animated I am. Well, if Kara, (Fitness Director at NWPT) didn’t know this about me -- she knows now. I ran into her outside the studio that day as we both were headed to our cars. Poor Kara, I went on a tirade about how this wasn’t working out. How I didn’t think I could do it anymore. How I’m sick of being the fattest person in the room.  Blah, blah...Kara entertained my crazy and let me get it all out. With a very straight, but warm face, she asked: “How long have you been working out with us?” 

Me: “Three weeks.”

Kara: “Oh, three weeks?”

When she repeated out loud “three weeks” I just started laughing. It sounded so ridiculous. I had been working out consistently and eating clean for three weeks. Three whole weeks. Sometimes I too lose sight of how much it really takes to shed the pounds. More importantly, to be fit, to be healthy.  Three weeks is not enough time to see the type of results I’m looking for. Deep down, I know better than that, but still sometimes I get caught up. I'm no different, in that respect, I want it now.

Kara went on to say, “Chrisetta, most people would give up. You though, you keep coming. You keep trying. We’re glad you’re here, trying.”  She’s absolutely right. Sure, sometimes I let the negative self-talk get the best of me, and I‘m a little unrealistic about where I should be.  The difference is, no matter -- I keep suiting up, I keep trying.

The weight is over

Lovin' life!

Good news, at last! The weight is over I've finally broke the latest plateau. The scale is heading in the right direction - 2 lbs. Phew. It's been at least six weeks, I think maybe longer.  I'm ecstatic about the weight loss, but more importantly I'm happy about the way I feel! I feel freaking amazing.

Non-weight related milestones:

• Last week, I successfully made it to the gym five (5)days - first time since accident/surgery
• I OWN the bike
• I really, really dialed in on my diet 
• I didn't allow myself to become discouraged -- I stayed focused with a positive, this too shall pass attitude  

Weight It Out

I've been through this umpteen times before. I'm focused. Doing all the right things: Eating healthy and balanced. My exercise regimen is on point. But, the numbers on the scale just aren't moving. In the past, I would panic. Change the batteries. Declare the scale broke, but not anymore I'm an old veteran at this. This my friends is a plateau. Sure, it's a little frustrating. Really though I find it rather amusing. The human body is an amazing machine. So I just keep on doing all the right things and maybe shake up my routine some.  One day soon out of nowhere the numbers will again start to drop.  For now, I'll relish in the fact that I've broken through stalemate periods like this before to the tune of 170 lbs. forever gone. Reminder to self: Just weight it out. 

This thing MUST be broke!

For the last two and a half weeks the scale has not moved. I was sure the darn thing was broke until I tried the scale at the gym and the same numbers appeared. Apparently, my body has caught on to my exercise and diet regimen and is forcing me to re-evaluate. Instead, of becoming discouraged I’m just marveling at how amazing the human body is. I mean really, it won’t let me get away with the same old routine. I need to do something different. Keep challenging myself. So it’s time to re-evaluate my routine because backing down or giving up are NOT options.

I think it’s important I mention that although the scale is not moving my body is changing and I have slimmed down. I take photos to chronicle my progress and I can tell the difference in my upper body and in my face since my last official weigh in. I say this because I want to make sure I emphasis that the scale is not the only way to measure one’s success. Clearly, it’s a tool that is used to help measure progress but not solely relied on. I think I keep hopping on it only to make myself crazy or crazier.

**Ironically, about a week ago one of my FB followers asked me about breaking through a plateau and here’s what I told her. I guess it’s time I follow my own advice.

Plateaus are sooo frustrating. They can make the most determined people give up. So… First, don't give up. Secondly, re-evaluate your game plan. You can't keep doing the same thing and get different results. If you usually take cycling class four times a week and jog three days then switch it to kickboxing and weightlifting or… Main thing is to keep your body guessing. Our bodies are complex and they need to be challenged. If you were loosing weight with a certain workout routine it may help just to tweak the routine a little. Next, and MOST important is your diet. I’m not big on counting calories but I’ll say this, lots of fresh vegetables and fruits, lean meats, nuts, and water are your staples. Also, breakfast is very, very important because it gets your metabolism going. Try to eat six times a day no more than three hours a part. Apples and raw almonds are great portable snacks.  Lastly, did I mention not to give up? Okay, good. Stay at it!!! Just make some adjustments. Slow and steady wins the race there is no quick fix to change your lifestyle. I hope this helps. It brings me great pleasure to pass on advice/encouragement so please feel free to ask anytime. Ironically, I just came from the gym when I saw your post and a trainer there was telling me next year this time I’d be a trainer myself. Hmm… smile. 

A Weighty Matter

I work so hard at the gym and with my diet. I have a friend who described my determination as, iron willed. Consequently, when I meet with my fitness coach to get weighed and measured I get a little anxious. After all, the ultimate tale of my progress comes down to the numbers on the scale and with a tape measure being wrapped around my body. So it’s perfectly normal then to feel a little antsy right? Well, today’s the day I hop on the scale. My mind is racing with thoughts; please let the bright red display show how hard I’ve worked. I’ve been such a good girl.

Hold up, wait a minute. No sooner than I wrote the last paragraph it dawned on me – that’s nonsense. That’s the beauty of writing I’m working through thoughts and feelings. Certainly, the numbers are indicators of my progress. But, the numbers DON’T dictate my success. Sure it’s important to track these numbers because in the end the goal is to decrease them. But, for heaven’s sake, I’m more than a number. All my hard work is not tied to a scale.

My hard work and determination is evident in many other ways. First, by eating better and exercising I’ve decreased my odds for developing a slew of health issues. If I stopped at my current weight and maintained it my overall health has been vastly improved. Next, I’m breaking through a lifetime of barriers by confronting obesity head on. Today, my outlook on life is much brighter than it was even six months ago -- I’m happier, friendlier, more vibrant, and heck even trimmer.

So no matter what the numbers are on the scale today or any day for that matter, I’m not defined by them. This journey is not only about the weight loss, it’s about me improving my overall health, attitude, and life.

"Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it.” Greg Anderson