Slowly but surely

A couple years ago, heck, even two months ago, I would have been beating myself up pretty bad about my current state. You see, the past few months I've been very busy in the community: Motivational talks, lectures, cooking classes, on and on. So, busy that truthfully I haven't been as dedicated to my fitness and weight loss goals. I can't recall the last time I worked out at the gym and I haven't recorded a decrease on the scale in umpteen months.

I'm 40 years old and have been overweight my entire life. I've never been what you called a "normal" size. I'm not sure what the statistics on beating childhood obesity are, but I'm sure they're slim (no pun intended). Despite what the statistics may be, to date with a conscious change to my diet, mindful eating, and exercise I've lost 170 pounds. I am proud of myself for what I have accomplished.  But I also can be pretty hard on myself for what I haven't accomplished.

The more mature, intuitive Chrisetta, recognizes that it's pretty unrealistic of me to think that I can make obesity go away overnight or even in a span of a few years. The Chrisetta of the past would have beat herself up for being in this current state of flux. Called herself names. But no longer. I'm a place in my life, a place in this journey where I'm not going to let those negative thoughts consume me. That's a part of the battle -- learning to not think and speak negative thoughts, learning to be kinder, more flexible and forgiving of myself. Does that mean that I am giving up on my goals? Quite the opposite. It just means that instead of pushing myself so hard, focusing so much on the destination.  I'm going to ease up -- live a healthy, fulfilled life, and enjoy the journey.
 
Today, I'm healthier, happier, more peaceful and content. Oh, and 170 pounds lighter. Slowly but surely, I'm saying farewell to my old childhood nemesis, obesity.