The Gym: I don't like it

I've done it again. Fallen off the workout wagon... It's been three weeks since I've taken my scheduled cycling class and two weeks since I've had pool time with Christie. What on earth is wrong with me? Why do I do this to myself? The short answer, I just don't really like working out. So if anything, any little thing distracts me I get off track. 

Sure working out makes me feel better, increases my energy, helps me sleep sounder, but the physical act of working out -- I just don't like.  And to be truthful since I haven't shed any pounds in forever, I'm even less enthused about working out. I know better than this, all of this, but somehow I'm here again.

I talked to my dear friend who is active and healthy she says she goes through similar phases too. Maybe this is just to be expected, eh? I dunno. I just know that I want to better than this, or do I? Heavy sigh. I'll stop rambling. I'm sure I sound like a broken record. How many times have I been in this place? Geez, when will I come up with a plan I can stick to and enjoy? Back to the drawing board again. I'm reminded of this saying... if you don't like starting over, don't stop.

Other related blog post: 
It's hard
Better for it
Enough

Twice crippled

Yesterday, February 17, 2013 marked two years since I was hit by a car while walking in a parking lot. As a result of the accident, I suffered an Acute Tibial Plateau Fracture and two weeks later I had Open Reduction Surgery to repair it. The surgery left me with a metal plate and 14 screws in my left leg. I spent months and months healing and rehabbing my leg.

At the time of the accident, I was actively working to kick obesity to the curb. I'd lost about 145 pounds, been working out faithfully, and I was in the best shape of my life. I was feeling really, really good. I was even training to run a half marathon that upcoming summer.

It's funny how in the blink of an eye things can change. I went from training for my first ever half marathon to rehabbing a fractured Tibia with no warning.

I'm grateful the accident didn't cause more damage. Though, I do sometimes wonder where I'd be physically if I weren't for the accident. Two years later, I'm able to perform all physical activities that I was able to perform pre-accident. I have to be more cautious doing some activities, but I can do most everything and I do most everything.

There have been two times in my life when I was crippled and unable to walk:

1. When I was weighed down by 388 pounds
2. When I was hit by a car and suffered a broken Tibia 

When I was crippled by the weight there was no desire to be physical activity. But, when my leg was fractured I had a burning desire to be active. Working out had become a huge part of my new life. Understandably, I was saddened, angry, and scared. Sad because my physical endurance was at it's peak. Angry because why me. Scared to think maybe my leg wouldn't heal and I wouldn't be able to walk or be active again.

After a  huge pity party with party favors included. I decided not to hang my head. Instead, with a positive attitude I put in the necessary work. My leg was broken, but not my spirit. So, I stayed active working out at the gym doing what I could do, going to physical therapy, and I even kept a social calendar. After six months of rehabbing I was able to resume most activities. And, in the midst of it all I lost 15 pounds!

Since I've been crippled twice in my life, I can appreciate the simple act of walking that much more. I will never, ever take the simple act of walking for granted. I walk because I can. I walk because it feels good. I walk because I remember when I couldn't walk and I so desperately wanted to. Now, when I put one foot in front of the other I realize how precious my steps are.

So, yesterday, to celebrate two-year post accident, I hit LaCamas Heritage Trail walking.

What a Difference a year makes

In the fall of 2009 after a trifecta of unfortunate events I decided to take control of my life. It's been a rewarding, challenging journey. I've said this before,  it's not only about my outer appearance -- this is a transformation from the inside out. I look to many other factors besides the scale. I'm taking a holistic approach to my health. This is a lifestyle change so there is no end date and I'm not really sure what my ultimate goal is. I want to live a healthy, active, happy life forever.

I'm a work in progress... I look forward to more positive changes in the year ahead.

"Life isn't about find yourself. Life is about creating yourself."

10-31-10

10-31-11

10-31-09

Lead By Example

The government has proposed stricter guidelines on food advertising to children (Click link for article from NY Times) . That's all fine and dandy, and I can appreciate all the efforts by our government to raise awareness, but really it starts with parents, at home. I'm proud to say I lead by example at my household. Check out this blog post I wrote a while ago. 

I talk the talk. I walk the walk. I lead by example. Throughout my journey to a healthier, active lifestyle there’s been one person with me every step of the way – my daughter, Jasmyn. In less than one year Jasmyn has lost 35 lbs. She went from a size 15 to a size 8. Naturally, when my diet changed, her diet changed too.

I’ve always been a lover of food and have preferred to cook at home rather than pick up fast food or eat at a restaurant. Therefore, we didn’t have to overcome eating out issues. No coincident, my mother cooked at home as well. I’ve always believed in a balanced meal: Protein, grains, and a vegetable. Early on I exposed Jasmyn to all sorts of foods so she’s never been a picky eater. She always has eaten veggies and definitely can enjoy an apple like her mom. Consequently, when it came time to make some changes around our house, the transition was smooth.

My priority was to cut down the number of high caloric meals I prepared - dishes loaded with cheese or smothered in gravy. I nixed white rice and white bread altogether. I eliminated the few packaged items I used such as, Rice-A-Roni and Stouffer’s meals. Juice and soda weren’t huge issues, but there were times I bought them and I stopped.

I involve Jasmyn in the kitchen all the time and I talk to her about our food choices. Throughout the last several months our diets have been dialed in and are a lot cleaner than they were even six months ago.  But, it's important to note, Jasmyn’s weight loss came in the first few months without exercise, simply by eliminating some foods from our diet. Now, since I’m more active, we exercise together. She has joined me at the gym in water aerobics, Zumba, and Boot Camp. Recently, she even witnessed one of my personal training sessions. We also play outdoors together: tennis, jogging, and shooting hoop.

It all starts with me. I'm her mother for goodness sake. I'm supposed to love her, care for her, and teach her. I realize, I’m her most influential role model and leader. That means I really can’t expect her to eat one way while I eat another. I can’t expect her to exercise and I don’t. I show and tell. I lead by example. She’s proof.  

Brighter days



“For every dark night, there's a brighter day.” ~Tupac Shakur

I found this photo (left) last night. I’m appalled to say the least. I mean, really. Look at me hiding behind that big, fake smile. At the time I weighed in around 290 lbs. Down from my highest weight of 388 lbs. but, still ...I thought losing 100 lbs. was enough. I was complacent. I figured I always was just going to be a big girl. In retrospect, I was too lazy, unmotivated, and unwilling to do anything about it. That’s all I’m going to say. My thoughts are far too negative and I no longer care to spend my precious time going there. Besides, no need in looking back as I will never, ever, ever return to that dark, miserable place. Instead, of dwelling on the past, I’ll rejoice for I'm finding myself and creating a beautiful, peaceful, active, healthy life.

Scared and a little stupid

Yesterday, I really stupidly pushed my limits. I mean, I woke up faint and dizzy – but still proceeded to get dressed to go to the gym. Not only did I force myself to go the gym, but since I was running late I decided to skip breakfast too. Huh? Really? Is it that serious?

Yes, it is kind of that serious. Here’s why…I’m scared. I’m scared if I miss a day at the gym. One day missed may turn into two days and then who knows I may just not ever go back.

I’m scared that if I start making excuses about why I can’t make it to the gym. Everyday there’ll be a new excuse and eventually I’ll stop going.

I’m scared that one slice of pumpkin loaf will turn into two slices, or worse the whole loaf, and then I’ll be right back into my old gross eating habits.

I’m scared. And my fears are getting the best of me.

Throughout this journey to overcome obesity, I’ve endured a lot emotionally, physically, and mentally. Suffice it to say, battling obesity is the HARDEST thing I’ve ever done. This isn’t just about me loosing a few pounds after giving birth to a child. Nor is it about me loosing just a few pounds. To date, I’ve lost 148 lbs. and still would like to loose 70 more. So…this is about me breaking through a lifetime of barriers. This is about me saying goodbye to a ton of bad habits and replacing them with new ones. This is about me changing my ENTIRE lifestyle. This is all so new to me. I’m trying to figure out how to live a healthy, active lifestyle. And, not withstanding all my enthusiasm I need to learn to be more realistic. An old and dear friend of mine gave me some good advice. She told me I need to stop and listen to my body. She went on to say that, I’ve made some tremendous changes and I need to learn and embrace my new body. I need to learn the new Chrisetta. My new body has different needs and just because I’m more fit than I once was this new body still needs rest. She knows me really well and she feels that I’m going at it a little bit too hard. And, perhaps I’m becoming obsessed with this new lifestyle and maybe just, maybe I should back down a little and not to take it so serious. It is after all a lifestyle change. Hmm…

This is uncharted territory for me. I’m figuring this all out by trial and error. Here’s what I know for sure:

• I love myself and I will never ever return to that dark, miserable, lonely place where food is my only comfort.
• I have to learn to be patient with myself and listen to my body.
• I need to find a way to balance my life, diet, exercise, work, family, and friends.

Lastly, I’m scared and sometimes a little stupid, but no doubt I will figure this all out. For once and for all, Farewell Fatso!

...In with the NEW!

I've been cleaning out my closets - literally. and reflecting on my lifelong battle with obesity. Now, since the clothes are cleared out, let's be clear -- I'm still on a mission. I’m bound and determined to live a healthy, active lifestyle. So no matter what obstacles I face throughout this journey, I will find a productive, healthy way to maneuver around them. Hate to toot my own horn, but so far I think I’m doing a superb job! Check out the photos. Tell me what y’all think. For once and for all, Farewell Fatso!

The Old

                            

JUMBO jeans are "OUT"!

The New

The "IN" thing - jeggings!