Twice crippled

Yesterday, February 17, 2013 marked two years since I was hit by a car while walking in a parking lot. As a result of the accident, I suffered an Acute Tibial Plateau Fracture and two weeks later I had Open Reduction Surgery to repair it. The surgery left me with a metal plate and 14 screws in my left leg. I spent months and months healing and rehabbing my leg.

At the time of the accident, I was actively working to kick obesity to the curb. I'd lost about 145 pounds, been working out faithfully, and I was in the best shape of my life. I was feeling really, really good. I was even training to run a half marathon that upcoming summer.

It's funny how in the blink of an eye things can change. I went from training for my first ever half marathon to rehabbing a fractured Tibia with no warning.

I'm grateful the accident didn't cause more damage. Though, I do sometimes wonder where I'd be physically if I weren't for the accident. Two years later, I'm able to perform all physical activities that I was able to perform pre-accident. I have to be more cautious doing some activities, but I can do most everything and I do most everything.

There have been two times in my life when I was crippled and unable to walk:

1. When I was weighed down by 388 pounds
2. When I was hit by a car and suffered a broken Tibia 

When I was crippled by the weight there was no desire to be physical activity. But, when my leg was fractured I had a burning desire to be active. Working out had become a huge part of my new life. Understandably, I was saddened, angry, and scared. Sad because my physical endurance was at it's peak. Angry because why me. Scared to think maybe my leg wouldn't heal and I wouldn't be able to walk or be active again.

After a  huge pity party with party favors included. I decided not to hang my head. Instead, with a positive attitude I put in the necessary work. My leg was broken, but not my spirit. So, I stayed active working out at the gym doing what I could do, going to physical therapy, and I even kept a social calendar. After six months of rehabbing I was able to resume most activities. And, in the midst of it all I lost 15 pounds!

Since I've been crippled twice in my life, I can appreciate the simple act of walking that much more. I will never, ever take the simple act of walking for granted. I walk because I can. I walk because it feels good. I walk because I remember when I couldn't walk and I so desperately wanted to. Now, when I put one foot in front of the other I realize how precious my steps are.

So, yesterday, to celebrate two-year post accident, I hit LaCamas Heritage Trail walking.

Comeback

Let's do this!

Doubts. Replaced. Fears. Erased. After my tibia was fractured last year I had moments of doubt. Being injured is scary. I was doubtful, fearful. Heck, I was hit by a car while walking and my leg was fractured. I underwent surgery (March 3, 2011) to repair it and hardware was placed in my leg to hold the bones together. I had to walk for months on crutches with no weight bearing to my leg. Sure, the doctors said I would regain my quad strength, walk again, and eventually return to all of my normal activities. During the rehab process I kept my spirit high and worked hard, but there was always a little shadow of doubt. Even after I was giving the green light to return to mostly all activities after six months I was still fearful, tentative with my movement. I just didn't know if my leg would ever be the same again.

And, I'm off!

Fast forward: One year.  Yesterday, I made the ultimate comeback -- I was able to walk the beautiful, five-mile hilly Mt.Tabor Park. No crutches. No doubts. No fears. Just me and my girlfriend, Jamie, swinging my arms high and walking proud. It had been a long time coming...You see to take on Mt.Tabor Park again was on my Post-Recovery Wishlist.  It was the last thing on my list that I had yet to accomplish. It was the last doubt.  Walking in the fresh air, taking in all the beauty of the park and in the backdrop the splendor of Mt. Hood.  Ha ha. Whew! I tell you... sweet victory.

Sweet Victory

The Shift

Things were good, real good. No complaints just your normal everyday gripes. Boom! One year ago, today (February 17, 2011) I was hit by a car while walking as a pedestrian in a parking lot and suffered a fractured Tibia.

I was in the best physical shape of my life. My physical endurance was at it's peak. I was even training to run my first half-marathon. In a blink of an eye. Fractured Tibia. Crutches. Brace. Surgery. I could not understand why. Why? Oh, I questioned why. The one thing I knew for sure I'd have to keep my spirits high to get through this trying time. Healing, rehabbing.
 

Smiling on crutches

Sure, my positive outlook helped, but it was by the grace of God that I made it through that trying time. Not only did I make it through, but I've triumphed. Being struck by a car was a catalyst to a new beginning. It was a segue to a new chapter. Sometimes unfortunate things occur to shift us in another direction, put us in another space.  Perhaps the space or place we are in, isn't bad. It's just not the space or place intended for us to be in. I respect that and fully understand that now. I was comfortable with things as they were, but things were not as they should be. Things were not as the universe intended for me. The events that have happened over the course of the past year were all a well-designed plan. I could not see why then, but I see clearly now.

Like legendary football coach, Vince Lombardi said: "It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up."  I'm UP!

My purple cast

Xray of healed bone with hardware

Better for 2012!

Hello, 2012!  What a heck of a year 2011 was. It started off with me being knocked off my path when I was hit by a car and suffered a fractured Tibia and concluded with my first cookbook "Bringing Cooking Back" being bought by New Seasons Market - what a stark contrast. So many positive things happened for me over the year. Being knocked off my axis in the form of a car was actually a blessing in disguise. I learned and grew a lot in '11 and was presented with wonderful opportunities that allowed me to share my passion and knowledge with others. I am grateful for everything that happened over the course of the year, yes -- even being hit by a car. I made a bold statement in my blog post "Hello 2011… Goodbye 2010" and I fell short of the statement...I'm still fat. Ha ha. Fat, but better.

All I want is to be better. I"m always striving for improvement, in all areas of my life. Often I put so much emphasize on my health, fitness, and weight loss, but at the end of the day that's not what I will be remembered for.Well, maybe I will be, (Jack Lalanne was). My point is I want people to remember my heart. This year, I'll strive to be: More loving. More caring. More forgiving. More peaceful. More supportive. There are plenty of physically beautiful, rich, powerful people around that are soulless. I strive to not be one of those people.

I'm better inside and out than I was last year at this time. Next year, when I reflect I hope to say the same. This is an ongoing process. I am a work in progress. As I embark on 2012, which is full of fantastic opportunities and promise -- I simply want to be better.

Warrior

A perfect demo of Warrior 2

As I proudly stood in Warrior 2 pose this morning in Yoga, this thought filled my mind: All that I've endured, all that I've battled, all that I've become -- all that I am.

Ten months ago, I was hit by a car as a pedestrian and suffered a fractured Tibia. Today, I was back in Yoga. Knee a little tender and my heart unsure whether I could perform some of the stretches and poses, but I was there. Throughout life, throughout this weight loss and self-transformation journey, I've been tested and I've overcome. All that I've endured, all that I've battled, all that I've become -- all that I am. I'm a warrior.

Believe

People are going to say all sorts of things about you - good and bad. People will think what they think about you - good and bad. That's just life. It's human nature -- I guess. Throughout this journey and in life I've met plenty of folks who have had words of advice for me. Plenty of folks who have doubted me. Last summer, I was working with someone who told me that I was too worried about blogging and needed to focus more on myself if I wanted to get the weight off - read earlier post, "Do You."  Where would I be if I would have listened to her? Not on the front page of The Columbian, live on AM Northwest, and certainly not writing this blog post. Thank goodness, I believed in what I was doing and kept pursuing blogging.

When I was hit by a car and suffered a fractured Tibia in February of this year some folks around me gave up on me. I'm sure, they thought I wouldn't rehab my leg and doubted I could continue to lose weight. My physical therapist said it's unheard of to not gain any weight while rehabbing a fractured leg. Again, within 6 1/2 months I've completely rehabbed a fractured Tibia, remained positive, and lost 15 lbs. How? Because I believe in myself. No matter what others think of me or what they say about me. I know within myself I can do anything I set my mind to.  This battle is mine and mine alone so outside forces and people don't rattle me.

I'm not saying I don't take others advice. Surely, I do, but I take what folks say with a grain of salt. If the information or advice is reasonable, applicable I use it. Otherwise, it's just someone else's opinion. At the end of the day. Everyday, I believe in myself - that is unwavering.

Right on course

2011 © Vivian Johnson

When I was hit by a car and sidelined with a fractured tibia in February, I could not conceive why. At the time, I was working with an awesome trainer, fitness level and endurance at it's peak. I was even training for a half marathon. In a blink of an eye a "Change of Course." 

I spent months on crutches with no weight bearing to my leg -- in a brace. I made a pact with myself during this time to keep my spirits high, but let me tell you -- those were some trying months. Having to get around was difficult, not being able to exercise with intensity even more difficult, friends came and went, and then there was the fear that I would not fully recovery. Sometimes at our darkest hour - our lowest point is when we rise to the top. When we are going through life at a study pace, all is well and life is easy we find ourselves in a comfort zone. It usually takes some sort of tragedy, a period of darkness to force us to make adjustments, dig deep, and sit still with ourselves. Trying times are what build character. Again, I did not conceive at the time why I was being taken on this route. Ohhhhhhh but now I can see clearly. I'm blinded by light. Like Eminem said, "I guess I had to go to that place to get to this one." So folks here I am at this place, five months later: leg mostly healed, working with another phenomenal trainer, regaining my strength, and on the verge of some really big life changing events. I can honestly say, everything happens for a reason and we may not see it at the time because we can't see past the darkness, but I kept my spirits high, kept living my life and exercising. Some people would say that I've been setback five months, I beg to differ -- I'm right on course.

I read a book, "Returning: A Spiritual Journey," while taking a theology course in college and I refer to this excerpt again and again: "In times of anguish it was hard to have the faith of an Abraham, and difficult to be reassured by doubts when I seemed to be walking in darkness. Yet there I was, like everyone else, having emerged from all sorts of crises and heartbreak and traumas, events that seemed to have insured my destruction or at least any chance of ever feeling joyous and fulfilled again, and I had gone on, and felt renewed and hopeful all over again, and the very pits of despair most often seemed to have been entries to the next unexpected, unimaginable (while in the pit) emergence and rebirth." ~Dan Wakefield 

Grateful

Crutchless

On February 17, 2011, as a pedestrian in a shopping mall parking lot I was hit by a car and suffered a fractured Tibia - Acute Tibial Plateau Fracture to be exact. On March 3, 2011, I underwent Open Reduction Internal Fixation surgery to repair the fracture. A metal plate was inserted in my leg to hold the repaired bone in place.

Today, marks 12 weeks from date of accident and 10 weeks post-op. At the time of the accident, I was devastated, frustrated, angry, fearful, sad. Amongst those feelings, however, I stayed grounded. I've refused to let my spirit be broken. I've managed for the most part to make the best of an unpleasant, unfortunate situation. Sure, I've had a few down moments, but mostly I've remained happy, optimistic, and joyous. I've continued on with my life -- business as usual. Attending social events, working out, running errands, and completing household chores.  In the midst of this all I've also lost weight and remained relatively fit.

When the accident first occured I had no idea how, why, and if I could get through this. After weeks of sitting still with myself, reflecting, I've become closer with myself. I've learned that I have a dynamic character. I'm strong, brave, fragile, fearful. My spirit shines brighter, my smile is bigger, and my heart is full of love and peace. I'm grateful.

Pardon me

Tibia Metal Plate

While I sulk, complain, cry. It was ME after all who was hit by a car, suffered a fractured Tibia, and had surgery to repair it. Oh yeah, and now my leg has hardware in it – a metal plate with several screws. I saw the doctors order for the parts, they had SKU numbers. Yes, SKU numbers.

As courageous and brave as I am, even I need a break. Give me a second to adjust to this all. Sorry, if I can’t get down the stairs this week to get myself something to eat. Sorry, if I can’t drive myself to doctor's appointments and the grocery store. Sorry, I feel like I shouldn’t have to ask for help. Those who know me and are close to me should have already gotten the memo. Okay, so I certainly do not expect the world to quit moving while I recover. Injuiries, surgeries happen all the time, and everyone has busy lives, but come on -- really?

Without a doubt, everything happens for a reason, this too shall pass, and certainly I’ll come through this with flying colors. I get that, but get this – I’m not even a week post-up from a major orthopedic surgery. My cape is at the dry cleaners. Again, I need a minute to wrap my mind around all of this. Just give me a second to figure out how and what I feel, please.

I realize these circumstances don’t give me a license to become a lazy, complaining freak, but for sure, I deserve at least one week to rest, cry, and expect unsolicited help without having to apologize. I'll  return to true form soon, I promise. For now, pardon me for expressing my raw emotions.