Twice crippled

Yesterday, February 17, 2013 marked two years since I was hit by a car while walking in a parking lot. As a result of the accident, I suffered an Acute Tibial Plateau Fracture and two weeks later I had Open Reduction Surgery to repair it. The surgery left me with a metal plate and 14 screws in my left leg. I spent months and months healing and rehabbing my leg.

At the time of the accident, I was actively working to kick obesity to the curb. I'd lost about 145 pounds, been working out faithfully, and I was in the best shape of my life. I was feeling really, really good. I was even training to run a half marathon that upcoming summer.

It's funny how in the blink of an eye things can change. I went from training for my first ever half marathon to rehabbing a fractured Tibia with no warning.

I'm grateful the accident didn't cause more damage. Though, I do sometimes wonder where I'd be physically if I weren't for the accident. Two years later, I'm able to perform all physical activities that I was able to perform pre-accident. I have to be more cautious doing some activities, but I can do most everything and I do most everything.

There have been two times in my life when I was crippled and unable to walk:

1. When I was weighed down by 388 pounds
2. When I was hit by a car and suffered a broken Tibia 

When I was crippled by the weight there was no desire to be physical activity. But, when my leg was fractured I had a burning desire to be active. Working out had become a huge part of my new life. Understandably, I was saddened, angry, and scared. Sad because my physical endurance was at it's peak. Angry because why me. Scared to think maybe my leg wouldn't heal and I wouldn't be able to walk or be active again.

After a  huge pity party with party favors included. I decided not to hang my head. Instead, with a positive attitude I put in the necessary work. My leg was broken, but not my spirit. So, I stayed active working out at the gym doing what I could do, going to physical therapy, and I even kept a social calendar. After six months of rehabbing I was able to resume most activities. And, in the midst of it all I lost 15 pounds!

Since I've been crippled twice in my life, I can appreciate the simple act of walking that much more. I will never, ever take the simple act of walking for granted. I walk because I can. I walk because it feels good. I walk because I remember when I couldn't walk and I so desperately wanted to. Now, when I put one foot in front of the other I realize how precious my steps are.

So, yesterday, to celebrate two-year post accident, I hit LaCamas Heritage Trail walking.

Better

I want to be better. Please don't misinterpret that to mean that I'm NOT proud of myself for what I've accomplished and I'm NOT grateful for all that I have and all that I am.

I realize in order to be better, I have to give more of myself. I can't stay in this safe place. I have to push myself out of my comfort zone. I repeat -- I have to push myself out of my comfort zone. For me, motivation comes from within. And if I'm honest with myself I can give more. I can do better.

Yesterday, I posted some photos (see above) on Facebook that showed me jogging the hills of Mt.Tabor Park. The photos are of me at my best. Physically, I was in a really good place. I was training to run my first half-marathon. One week later, I was KNOCKED off my axis and hit by a car while walking in a parking lot. I suffered a broken tibia, had surgery to repair it and was left  with 14 screws and a metal plate in my leg. I went through months of rehab and physical therapy. It was a very trying time for me. But, I made it through. I successfully rehabbed my fractured leg and did NOT gain one pound. Instead, I LOST 15 pounds the physical therapists and orthopedic doctors said that, that was unheard of. While I was able to successfully rehab my leg and lose weight while doing so. I feel like that accident did thwart my overall progress. It's been nearly two years now. I don't feel like I've been able to make the physical breakthroughs that I had hoped for. Partly some mental stuff going on (another blog post).


Anyhow, after I posted my photos a few of you made comments -- I appreciate you all. My story is an open diary for you all to read. And, I realize sometimes I'm quite contradictory in my comments and my posts. One minute, I'm telling you to ... and the next minute I'm ....  

I want to be better. And, sometimes I get frustrated with myself. Right now, I'm frustrated with myself. I try not to speak negative thoughts because you know my theory on that, but sometimes I slip up. 

I'm proud of and grateful for what I've accomplished it's because of that --  not in spite of that, that I know I can be better. Am I too hard on myself? Perhaps. Too honest? Nope.

"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better."

The Shift

Things were good, real good. No complaints just your normal everyday gripes. Boom! One year ago, today (February 17, 2011) I was hit by a car while walking as a pedestrian in a parking lot and suffered a fractured Tibia.

I was in the best physical shape of my life. My physical endurance was at it's peak. I was even training to run my first half-marathon. In a blink of an eye. Fractured Tibia. Crutches. Brace. Surgery. I could not understand why. Why? Oh, I questioned why. The one thing I knew for sure I'd have to keep my spirits high to get through this trying time. Healing, rehabbing.
 

Smiling on crutches

Sure, my positive outlook helped, but it was by the grace of God that I made it through that trying time. Not only did I make it through, but I've triumphed. Being struck by a car was a catalyst to a new beginning. It was a segue to a new chapter. Sometimes unfortunate things occur to shift us in another direction, put us in another space.  Perhaps the space or place we are in, isn't bad. It's just not the space or place intended for us to be in. I respect that and fully understand that now. I was comfortable with things as they were, but things were not as they should be. Things were not as the universe intended for me. The events that have happened over the course of the past year were all a well-designed plan. I could not see why then, but I see clearly now.

Like legendary football coach, Vince Lombardi said: "It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up."  I'm UP!

My purple cast

Xray of healed bone with hardware

Recovery journal

Day 34: I'm getting stronger everyday. My leg is virtually pain free. I take the stairs easier, faster. When walking on crutches I don't fatigue as quickly. With the chair on wheels I'm mobile in the kitchen again. At this rate, I may be marathon ready by June 19th. ;)

Change of course

It’s funny how in a blink of an eye your life can change for better or worse. In split seconds, I went from training for my first ever half-marathon to being hit by a car while walking in a parking lot. Bang. I was transported by ambulance to the hospital to learn that I suffered an Acute Tibial Plateau Fracture.

After receiving the initial diagnosis from an ER visit, I met with an orthopedic surgeon last week.  He feels with the type of fracture I suffered and the type of active lifestyle I want to lead, Open Reduction Surgery is the best alternative. Bang. Restricted workouts. No marathon. Instead, I’ll spend the next 12 weeks recovering, rehabbing, and focusing on my diet.

Things certainly don’t always work out the way we plan. I’m a very organized person, a planner. With that said, I’ve learned the hard way on many occasions that my plan is not always, the plan. Believe you me -- I had no intention on rehabbing a fractured leg. For goodness’ sake, Megan was about to take my training to the next level; I was gaining momentum with my weight training; my jogging was coming along well; my physical endurance at its peak. Just as I’m stomping obesity down. Bam. Just like that. Sidelined. Curtailed.

Needless to say, this is a very difficult time for me. I have worked really, really hard to get to this level – physically. I am angry, sad, frustrated, and disappointed. Surely, these are all normal feelings to have after a derailment of this sort.

The course has changed. My spirit, however, remains intact. The will, determination, desire is still very much alive in me. The same fight that has propelled me to lose 155 lbs. will guide me through the recovery process too. Like legendary football coach Vince Lombardi, said: "It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up."

Counting my blessings... 

1. It's only a broken leg
2. I’m not paralyzed
3. I’m relatively fit so that will aid in my quick, recovery
4. I am surrounded by awesome, positive, encouraging folks who want me to, and will help me succeed.

My big mouth

Oh my, what have I done? One too many email exchanges and I’ve committed myself to participate in a half marathon. First off, I’m not even a runner. Secondly, I don’t really want to be a runner. Although I have experienced the runner’s high before and I admit I do kind of like it. Next, and probably most importantly I have some pretty bad knees. Megan, however, agreed that I could pull this off. And, without her approval, well I just wouldn't do it. At this point, she knows what my physical limits are more than I do.

Yesterday, I met with a girlfriend who shared her marathon experience with me and a neighbor recently gave me her insights too. The consensus is that I should run part and walk part. My goal is to run at least five miles. I hear this guy Jeff Galloway’s program is the best to follow. He prescribes that you run and walk in intervals the whole course. So following his theory, Megan, and countless other folks who will feed me information I’m sure to meet the challenge.  But, just so we’re clear -- I’m petrified. How on earth are my legs going to carry me 13.1 miles? In 130 days I’ll find out. I guess, I should shut my fat trap and get to training. Heavy sigh. Me and my big mouth.

---

I’m training for the Vancouver USA Marathon. That does sound kind of cool. Oh and the bragging rights after completion will be so sweet.