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“For every dark night, there's a brighter day.” ~Tupac Shakur |
Monday, February 14, 2011
Brighter days
I found this photo (left) last night. I’m appalled to say the least. I mean, really. Look at me hiding behind that big, fake smile. At the time I weighed in around 290 lbs. Down from my highest weight of 388 lbs. but, still ...I thought losing 100 lbs. was enough. I was complacent. I figured I always was just going to be a big girl. In retrospect, I was too lazy, unmotivated, and unwilling to do anything about it. That’s all I’m going to say. My thoughts are far too negative and I no longer care to spend my precious time going there. Besides, no need in looking back as I will never, ever, ever return to that dark, miserable place. Instead, of dwelling on the past, I’ll rejoice for I'm finding myself and creating a beautiful, peaceful, active, healthy life.
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That hurts me to read that. I don't think that you were any of those things. I think that you were overwhelmed and didn't have the right tools to move on from that point. When we get overwhelmed we get STUCK. You have to acknowledge the level of achievement you had at that point...100 lbs is NO JOKE! Not one person to lose 100 lbs can do it by being lazy or unmotivated! If I'm interpreting this right, I think you are mad at yourself for stopping. You know that the weight loss journey is a hard grueling process. It is a mental, full on, WAR. You just conquered a huge battle, but needed time to regroup and get your head right. Now you are ready for this last campaign, to finish this war once and for all. You have to accept that you needed that time and it didn't make you a failure, it made you a better "soldier"!
ReplyDeleteShannon -
ReplyDeleteSorry I hurt you and you're partly right. Losing this amount of weight is overwhelming so a hiatus was in order. But, I just think that there was a point where I had given up. I felt as if I was destined to be fat and that's it. That's all. It wasn't until five years later the light bulb came on! So here we are in the stretch, kicking obesity to the curb, for once and for all. I'm only looking back as a reference. I'm moving on - I was just merely saying...
Thanks for the dialogue, you keep me on my toes. xoxo