By now, you have heard some version or another of my story. If not, here’s a synopsis, I’m a product of childhood obesity and to date I’ve lost 155 lbs. Yes, 1-5-5! Ideally, I still have to lose another 80 pounds to meet my goal weight. That’s a total of 235 pounds. Yeah, I know, those numbers are inconceivable to most. Those numbers are not for the weak-hearted.
By far, battling obesity is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Battling obesity isn’t just about losing the weight. This is so much more than a physical transformation. It’s about finding myself and learning to love myself. It's about talking down the demons on a regular, "You're fat and always will be. "You're ugly." "You can't." Every single day, I’m at war with myself emotionally and mentally, and boy do I the have the scars to prove it. So, I apologize if I’m always talking about my battle with obesity. I apologize for always complaining about how hard this is. But, if I’m going to fight this battle I will not do it quietly. This is not something you go through in silence. I am kicking and screaming the whole way.
Yesterday, while at the gym I was complaining to my trainer friend about how fat I still am. He listened as he always does, and he also reminded me of how far I’ve come. He’s right. I’ve come along way. Ironically, that’s exactly why I am frustrated, I've come so far, but yet have so far to go. It’s overwhelming. Sure, I’m proud, but this is ONLY round seven of a heavyweight bout. I still have five more rounds to go. I’m tired, wiped out, and downright exhausted. But, I’m way too stubborn and prideful to quit. Instead, I keep tighten up my gloves and getting back in the ring. Yeah, I fuss, I complain, and some days I cry. I think I have every right to do so. So, if you would, please just bear with me when I go off on my tirades. After all, I’m in the midst of kicking obesity to the curb. This is no small feat.
Reminder to self: You’ve come a long, long way, baby!
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| A whopping 388 lbs. |
Yes, you have come a long way. A LONG, LONG, LONG way! And only people who have battled these demons know how tired and overwhelmed you must feel. I really wish there was something inspirational I could say to you, to encourage you and push you forward. But nothing I can say will make you feel any better because it is your own power, drive, and determination that is going to get you to that finish line; and there is NO DOUBT in my mind that you are going to get there! Just know that you have so many people, especially me, who are loving you and supporting you along the way! Everyday, I let your new accomplishments wash over me and they encourage and push me! I thank you for that!
ReplyDeleteYou're right. This certainly is a battle between me, myself, and I. It's a battle of will. I know you understand the level of mental toughness it takes to slay the demons and I'm grateful we can share our experiences with one another. We have different circumstances but the same goal - to be strong and fit for life! I'm flattered that I encourage you because you're a true warrior. I'm a wannabe. :) Thank you, thank you, thank you.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Yoga and lunch for sure on Wednesday.