Megan

My first session with Megan - 12/10/10

You always tell me I'm the one driving the car and your just directing traffic. But, what a heck of a director you are. You encourage me to do more because you know I can.  I squat deeper because of your gentle, yet firm words. You tap into my mind in a non-inflicting way. You understand ME. Without a doubt, the universe brought us together so that YOU would help me see my full potential, and push me to the next level. YOU are the ONE! My exodus out of this body will be because of you directing the traffic. I'm forever grateful to YOU.

Kicking and Screaming

By now, you have heard some version or another of my story. If not, here’s a synopsis, I’m a product of childhood obesity and to date I’ve lost 155 lbs. Yes, 1-5-5! Ideally, I still have to lose another 80 pounds to meet my goal weight. That’s a total of 235 pounds. Yeah, I know, those numbers are inconceivable to most. Those numbers are not for the weak-hearted.

By far, battling obesity is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Battling obesity isn’t just about losing the weight. This is so much more than a physical transformation. It’s about finding myself and learning to love myself. It's about talking down the demons on a regular, "You're fat and always will be. "You're ugly." "You can't."  Every single day, I’m at war with myself emotionally and mentally, and boy do I the have the scars to prove it. So, I apologize if I’m always talking about my battle with obesity. I apologize for always complaining about how hard this is. But, if I’m going to fight this battle I will not do it quietly. This is not something you go through in silence. I am kicking and screaming the whole way.

Yesterday, while at the gym I was complaining to my trainer friend about how fat I still am. He listened as he always does, and he also reminded me of how far I’ve come. He’s right. I’ve come along way. Ironically, that’s exactly why I am frustrated, I've come so far, but yet have so far to go. It’s overwhelming. Sure, I’m proud, but this is ONLY round seven of a heavyweight bout. I still have five more rounds to go. I’m tired, wiped out, and downright exhausted. But, I’m way too stubborn and prideful to quit. Instead, I keep tighten up my gloves and getting back in the ring. Yeah, I fuss, I complain, and some days I cry. I think I have every right to do so. So, if you would, please just bear with me when I go off on my tirades. After all, I’m in the midst of kicking obesity to the curb. This is no small feat.


                                     
                  Reminder to self: You’ve come a long, long way, baby!




A whopping 388 lbs.

 

Eating Healthy Never Tasted So Good




Mediterranean lettuce wrap

 

I love the distinctive flavors of Mediterranean cuisine. Lately, I’ve been experimenting with different versions of lettuce wraps. So I thought why not take my taste buds on a trip to Greece. Grilled organic chicken breast seasoned with a unique blend of spices including cinnamon and cumin. Served on crisp, nutrient rich romaine lettuce and topped with cucumbers, tomatoes, red onions, Kalamata olives, Feta cheese, and hummus. Oh how, my taste buds were delighted.

Smart and balanced

A couple of months ago I wrote a blog post, “Scared and a little stupid.” At the time I wasn’t feeling so good and my body was giving me all the signals to slow down. But, I was hard headed and I didn’t listen. I forged ahead to the gym on an empty stomach, light headed, and dizzy. I nearly fainted in Pilates and had to leave class prematurely. That incident was one of my first wake-up calls to take better care of myself. Sometimes it’s important to just STOP. RECOVER. REFUEL. Coming from a person who avoided exercise like the plague and ate whatever foods I wanted. I admit, I have turned my obsession in quite the opposite direction. I eat and breathe health and fitness. It consumes me. I want out of this body so bad and sometimes I just can’t and won’t sit still.

Last weekend, my body, mind, and soul were tired. I was - I guess you could say - tapped out. So I decided to take the weekend off from exercising and thinking too much about it. Time to just chill and relax. I realized after some self-reflection what my life needs is balance. Here’s a recap of my week:

·      Monday – I worked with my Megan, my trainer. Accomplished things I never accomplished before: 33 pushups and 25 modified pull-ups.

·       Tuesday - I hit the gym HARD. I was moving around like Agile Abigail. I tell you I had full command of the gym. I was a Rock star.

·      Wednesday – A vigorous cardio workout followed by a return to Yoga class. In Yoga I discovered my body is in need of TLC. Despite being stronger and fitter my body is really wacked. A blog post about Yoga is forthcoming.

·      Thursday – A tune-up type workout with Megan and I started my pre-training jog for the half marathon I’m participating in this June.

·       Today, Friday - It seems I have hit another brick wall. I’m physically tapped out.

After reviewing my week I guess maybe I still missed the mark in the area of balance. But, to make good on the week I’m not working out today. And, I’m not going to beat myself up about it. Heck, I work hard. My body works hard. I give all of myself when at the gym or with Megan. I respect and cherish my body and its limits. Today I grant my body the rest it deserves. After all, slow and steady wins the race. This is about the overall, big picture and I’m destined to win even if I take a day off here and there. I’m smart and balanced.

"...Life’s a great balancing act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.” ~Dr. Seuss

Eating Healthy Never Tasted So Good

Last night’s dinner was superb. Tender, juicy center cut pork chops with a squeeze of lemon juice and a hint of rosemary were grilled to a perfection. Served with roasted cauliflower and broccoli tossed with Extra Virgin Olive Oil and sliced garlic. To kick up the flavor, fresh lemon juice was generously drizzled on the veggies and for the final touch grated parmesan.  No meal is complete without dessert: A bowl of fresh, delicately sweet raspberries and blueberries. All prepared in less than an hour. Nothing from a box or a can just pure, raw goodness.

The Underdog

     I’m a little teary eyed as I write. Saturday’s Seahawks vs. Saints game stirred up a lot of emotions in me. I love how the Seahawks kept their composure. How they didn’t give up. Never mind, everyone else had already slated them to lose. They held their heads high and played to win. In an after game interview the coach said they believed they could win. Yes, as crazy as it sounds they believed they could win.

      I have always been a fan of the underdog. The one who the odds are stacked up against. The one that society is betting against. Many of our American sports heroes are underdogs: Rocky, Cinderella Man, and Rudy to name a few. There’s something about the quiet, enduring spirit of the underdog that I admire and can relate to.

      As a product of childhood obesity, the odds are stacked up against me. Statistics are not in my favor. Most overweight children grow up to be overweight adults. In my case, that is mostly true, as I have been carrying the extra weight around for 38 years. But, I have a burning desire to beat the statistics. I am going to turn childhood obesity statistics upside down.  Every time I walk into the gym I realize I am not the favorite and that I am not slated to win. By golly, I have the spirit of the underdog, even with the odds stacked up against me, I believe in myself. I believe I can win.

      So, sure, many folks see the Seahawks victory as just a football game, but to me it was so much more. That game was about guts, courage, resilience, and belief in oneself. That game was about the spirit of humans and what we can do when we set our minds to it.  I can’t quite claim victory yet, but as I near the finish line, I’ll say this again -- I believe I can win. Here’s to the underdog -- never, ever, ever give up.