We’ve had some good times, or so at the time I thought they were good. Mainly most of my memories of you are not so fond. Truthfully, I’d rather have never met you. I’m writing this letter to tell you straight up our very unhealthy relationship has come to an END. I must admit after 38 years, I really can’t imagine life without you. After all, you are all that I know. I’m willing and ready, however, to find out what life is like without you around.
For my entire life, you’ve defined who I am, but no more. As I approach 40, I've decided it’s about time I find someone else to spend my time with. You just weren’t that cool to hang out with anyway. I always get funny stares when I'm with you and your name alone carries such a negative connotation. In retrospect, I’m not sure why I’ve been hanging with you as long as I have, it's clear you never had my best interest in mind. I guess sometimes when you're really close to someone or something it’s just hard to let go. I'm proud to say, however, I've finally come to the end of the road with you. This surely will be a painful journey to rid myself completely of you, but let's make sure I'm clear, I never, ever want to see you again. For once and for all, Farewell Fatso!
P.S. I've found someone new –- me and healthy living are doing swell.