Start

When I started my weight loss and get fit journey. I guess this comes as no surprise, but my diet and exercise regimen were totally different than they are today.

Back then, my idea of healthy eats were frozen Lean Cuisine meals, Broccoli & Beef from the Panda Express menu, and if and when I ate raw vegetables, they had to be dipped in Ranch dressing. I've come along way.

Today, I'm repulsed at the idea of any store-bought frozen meal, anything from Panda Express, and I gladly eat my veggies dip-less. On a personal note: I have taken control of my health in my very own kitchen, by preparing 99 percent of my meals at home using fresh, whole ingredients. Not only do I eat healthfully, I've taken it a step further: I've authored two cookbooks and I've held numerous cooking classes around the community. Where I am today, wouldn't have been possible without me, starting.

My exercise routine used to consist of a 15 minute normal paced walk outdoors. You heard the saying, "You have to crawl before you walk." Everyone has to start somewhere.
Walking for me was a safe effective way to get me jump started. Once I became comfortable walking, I made my way to the gym. Today, my workout routine looks quite a bit different than it did in 2009.

So, the point of this all... Don't worry so much about where you want to be. Don't over-think it. Keep it simple. Start where you are. Where you are today will inevitably look different in a few weeks, a few months, a year.

No one starts out preparing 99 percent of their meals at home from scratch. No one runs a marathon without first running a mile. Keep in mind, there'll be twists and turns a long your journey to health and fitness, but keep going, you're worth it.

Start.

It's heavy

As the cashier loaded my grocery bag she cautioned, "It's heavy." I smirked and replied, "Yeah that's fine. I got it. Thanks."

She's right, it was a little heavy, but it wasn't that heavy. I'm 40 years old, in relatively good shape. So, carrying a 13 pound bag should be no problem - is no problem.

I haven't been actively working out at the gym lately, but I realize there are so many other forms of exercise outside of the gym that I can do. Some very basic things. Starting with, using my body for what it was intended. The simplest, most overlooked form of exercise -- walking. There are real health benefits to walking. Okay, so maybe you won't get buffed from walking. And sure, there's more advanced forms of exercise for folks that are fit, but no matter walking is the simplest, lowest impact form of cardio exercise. Oh, and it's stress reliever and great mood booster too.

So, I've made a pact with myself to sneak in exercise whenever, where ever. One way, I do this is to walk to my errands that are within a one mile radius of my house.  Come to think about it, it seems shameful to drive a car to go such a short distance. My walking errands are good for the environment and me too.

Back to the "heavy" bag. I strapped the cloth reusable bag around my left shoulder, positioned it snugly on my right hip, and back on the road I went. My stride was a little shorter going home with the groceries in tow, but I felt good. Real good. I like using my body for what it was designed for: moving, walking, carrying stuff.

"Nature designed walking as the most basic and the main form of locomotion and transportation for human beings. Therefore it is essential for optimal health and function that this basic form of movement is a regular part of our daily lives. It is very simple and logical - the more we do things our bodies were naturally designed to do, the more functional our bodies become." Read more from the article here.

With that said, I chose to -- move it so I don't lose it!

Also read: Spark People's Walking Guide

Still Contract

I've lost a lot of weight, 170 pounds to be exact. I don't claim to be supernatural or anything. I know, I know. All this time you've been thinking I possessed some kind of supernatural powers. The truth is, anyone can do it. It's really just a matter of setting your mind to it. But there's the rub -- the hardest part is setting your mind to it.

For me, I was forced into this period of stillness by a series of unfortunate events -- the loss of my boyfriend, job, and car -- all in a six week period of time. So there I was all by my lonesome. Sitting still. During those still moments, I heard a nagging voice. A voice I probably would have otherwise never heard zipping around, multi-tasking in the everyday fast paced world. During those still moments, I made up my mind for once and for all (Get it--For once and for all, Farewell Fatso!).

I didn't squander this time. Instead, I recognized this time off as an opportunity and so I used the time to my advantage. I started taking walks around the neighborhood, in part, to keep me from going insane. Those walks, however, soon became my -- me time. When I wasn't out walking I spent a lot of time just sitting still. No TV, no computer, just quiet, still time to really mull things over. I envisioned the person I wanted to be. In retrospect, I was creating a mental vision board. Slowly, but surely, I started making small changes.

I'll admit, at first, I didn't really have a plan. I just took some random steps. But, overtime my steps, my actions became more deliberate. The more small successes I accomplished the bigger the steps I was able to take. I started believing in myself. Wellness coaches call that -- self-efficacy.

Once I started believing in myself. There was no stopping me, there is no stopping me. The way I see it, when I enter into a business arrangement with someone I take the time to mull over the contract. Then if I agree to the contract, I sign the contract. So that's what I've done to shed the pounds and find myself.

My word is my bond. I do what I say I'm going to do and if I can't do it best believe there is a really compelling reason why. I certainly don't go around just willy nilly breaking contracts with others. So the same holds true with the contracts I sign with myself. I sign on the dotted line and commit to myself. It's me first, not in a selfish way, but in a selfish way (a whole 'nother blog post for a whole 'nother time).

Hey, I'm proof...You can do anything you set your mind to. So if you have areas in your life that you are looking to change. Might I suggest -- sit still with yourself, sign a contract with yourself, and set your mind to it!

Gettin' my walk on!

What a beautiful, crisp fall day it is! I just came in from getting my walk on. Those of you who've been following the blog from the beginning know that walking is how this journey of self-discovery/weight loss began in 2009. Whenever I'm feeling sluggish or need to rejuvenate -- I return to that place, that starting point. I'm a true believer in looking within for self-motivation. Chatting with loved ones, reading self-help books, and coming up with a game plan from trainers, are helpful tools and they all can play a role. At the end of the day, however, there's just me. So I lace up my tennis shoes, and put one foot in front of the other and try to figure it all out. How to maneuver from one point to another in this obstacle course called life.

For me walking is not so much about the physical exercise, but more about my mental health. Walking for me is cathartic. Taking in all the beautiful sights of nature, the fresh air, and just spending time with myself, thinking. Really thinking. Reflecting is what my walks are about. Walking does the mind and body good. So whenever I need a reboot, I get my walk on!

Simple things

I don't want to start this blog off on the negative, but the fact of the matter is being weighed down by 388 pounds kind of limits your ability to do things. Normal everyday things. Things most people take for granted.

Now, that I've shed the pounds let me tell you...It's a wonderful thing to be able to walk effortlessly, bend over and tie my shoes, cross my legs, and heck -- help move a sofa.

Yesterday, I proudly helped my uncle move my new sofa. We unloaded it from the truck, and carried it 25 feet into the house. It felt good to kneel down, pick the sofa up, and haul it.

Today, I celebrate my body and the ordinary everyday functions that I am able to perform. The countless weight lifting and cardio classes I've endured have not been taken in vain. I'm stronger and more flexible. Coming from a place of morbid obesity makes me appreciate the simple things.  They haven't always been so simple.

A page from the Italians

After cycling class on Monday a few of us became engaged in a conversation about our Mother's Day food indulgences. It turned into a conversation about Italians and their daily indulgences. They (Italians) eat rich food, drink plenty of wine, and always have dessert. But, somehow the Italians don't have the weight and health issues as Americans. Hmm...How is this possible? Here's what I think...

For starters, they eat fresh, seasonal food. No processed, boxed stuff. If it's not fresh, local then no-go.

• They take their time with their food. There's no rush -- no half hour lunch breaks and then zip back to the office to sit. Their meals can go on for hours.

• They eat their meals in courses. The food is served on separate plates. One dish at a time. By eating, one dish at a time, they're concentrating on the goodness of each dish. Also, this means the food has time to digest.  

• Eating is social. It's about catching up on the day's events, laughing, and enjoying one another and the food. No sitting in front of a computer or TV and eating solo. No. No. Food is about togetherness. Nothing like a meal shared.

• They walk -- everywhere. Repeat: They walk -- everywhere.

• And finally for the Italians -- it's quality over quantity. No big gulps. No super-size. No massive plates piled high. The food they eat is excellent so they don't feel the need to overindulge. They are not gluttonous.

Italians indulge daily -- in food, excellent food, conversation, laughter, and they walk everywhere their feet will carry them.

Fresh air, perspective

A few days ago, I went on one of my tirades about losing my zest for working out. Those who have been following my blog, know that I always turn my rants into actions.

Hopeful to reboot, resurge I decided to lace up my tennis shoes and go outside and take a walk. After all, that's how this self-transformation / weight loss journey began. I figured since I'm struggling with how to get to the next round of this heavyweight bout...I'd return to my starting point.

As I walked the park, taking in the fresh air, sun beaming down on me I was reminded of the simple pleasures of daily life: I encountered a middle-aged fella walking his adorable little Karin dog, two young girls playing with a soccer ball, and an innocent teenaged couple walking hand-in-hand. I know, I keep saying this, but mostly this is a battle of the mind. The inner self. Walking was not really about the physical exercise, but more about the mental stimulation.  I feel somewhat better and encouraged after yesterday's walk, but I am still not ready to make my way back to the gym quite yet. It's going to take a few more walks to gain clarity about the direction I want to head for this final push to the finish line. Stay tuned...

Inside Out

My self-transformation and weight loss journey began with a walk. For weeks, prior, I was drowning my sorrows and escaping from my fears by sleeping the days and nights away. But, during the brief waking moments there was a nagging voice within telling me to lace up my tennis shoes and go outside and take a walk. Obeying that nagging voice saved my life and is the reason I'm able to write this blog post today.

In the late fall of 2009 I was in a dark, miserable place. No job, no car, no boyfriend - all these losses happened within six weeks. I felt like I had no reason to go on. I felt like such a failure, loser. I couldn't imagine there was any reason to continue on. There were a number of things that required my attention. From my attitude to my finances. Losing everything forced me or I should say gave me the opportunity to sit still and figure out what was causing me to keep finding myself in dark situations.

The first walk (which by the way took every ounce of strength I had) was only ten minutes, but it opened my eyes and gave me a glimpse of light -- desperately needed light. After I strung together several days of walking I saw more light. I decided that maybe, just maybe I lost my job so that I could take the necessary time I needed to look within. I decided not to squander my gift and so I laced up my tennis shoes in the rain and sometimes in the snow. I used the walks outside to get fresh air, reflect, and get in touch with my inner self. Soon I began enjoying the walks they were cathartic for me and I was getting exercise. After a few months, I had even lost a few pounds.

In retrospect, I believe looking inward is the first step in starting a journey of this magnitude. I suspect (I know this was true for me) many of us who are struggling with weight and especially obesity have a myriad of other issues going on that lead us to food. Like I told the TOPS weight loss group I spoke with last week, I won't come out later and say I was raped or abused. I had a pretty normal childhood it's just that I found comfort, solace in food. Once I sat still with myself I found there were other things that brought me pleasure.  .

I started those walks just to save myself, but I ended up finding the whole me. Wellness and health aren't just about the physical state, quite the contrary, it's holistic. Once I started feeling better about myself, everything else just started coming together.When I started walking, I lost 8 pounds without really trying. The light was shining brighter and I started trying different things, surrounded myself with like-minded people, and became more social.

My self-transformation and weight loss journey has been from the inside out. I feel people should take time to look within and the rest will all come together. Today, I'm blinded by light: 170 pounds lighter, happier, and healthier -- it's a holistic approach. Might I suggest, if you are struggling with your weight, your health, spirituality, maybe it's time you look inward. Really, really look inward. Don't just make a plan, let the plan manifest in you. Inside out.

What's the worst that can happen?

I was talking with my dear friend (who happens to be obese) this morning.  She complained of how tired she was after sleeping 9 1/2 hours last night. 9 1/2 hours! Sometime ago she was diagnosed with Sleep apnea and prescribed a C-PAP machine. She does not like to use the machine because it's a huge nuance. Usually, I listen on as a good friend would (or would they?).

This morning, however, as she complained about how tired she was I couldn't hold it in anymore. I offered my unsolicited advice. Perhaps she was so tired because although she had been in bed, supposedly sleep, her Sleep apnea prevented her from actually sleeping through the night. Hence, the need for the machine. I realize the machine may be a nuance, but not waking up the next morning would be... She has two small children for goodness sake. As a short-term solution, I encouraged her to start using her machine again, but the long-term solution is to reclaim control of her weight and her health. I mentioned that maybe, just maybe she should start exercising. Just a ten minute walk. That's when her complaining really began: she doesn't want to exert that much energy. Huh? Really? Silly me. I see the ability to go outside and walk in the fresh air as a gift. I reminded her, I'm the gal who use to weigh 388 pounds. I'm all to familiar with restlessness nights of sleep because of too much abdomen girth. I too avoided physical activity like the plague when I was morbidly obese. I did not want to walk and God forbid I work up a sweat. Turns out I love to do both now.

My unsolicited raw opinion: Too many of us are sitting around letting our lives pass us by. We won't walk to the mailbox that is 300 ft. We drive to the grocery store that is less than a mile. We eat processed, crappy so-called food because it's convenient. What's worse, we won't even be inconvenienced to get out of the car to get our so-called crappy food. We drive-up and drive-thru. Sadly, most of us don't know how to prepare/cook a meal using fresh, whole ingredients. Most of us don't know how to cut-up a whole chicken We forgot that chickens even have bones. We find it perfectly acceptable to eat our vegetables and fruit from cans. We take a pill for every ailment, when the truth is a little exercise probably would do the trick Our health and well-being is at stake and we're in denial. Or is that we just our too lazy to do anything about it? A healthy lifestyle has a price tag, but so does the crappy, convenient lifestyle.

My forty something year old aunt had a massive heart attack about a month ago. She's obese, eats like crap, and does not exercise. A recipe for disaster. She was hospitalized for several days and even was confined to the ICU for a spell. Heart disease runs in her family.  Her father died of a massive heart attack before the age of 50. You would think that would be reason enough to take better care of herself. She left the hospital with a bag full of meds and a schedule in which she should take them. Of course, the doctors also prescribed a healthier diet and exercise. Popping the pills is the route she has decided to take. Another short-term solution for a much bigger problem. A problem that probably can be resolved with some effort on her part. The way I see it, she's very fortunate to have walked out of the hospital.

In both of the scenarios I've shared with you, the writing is clear. These are people I know and love. For some reason my message is not getting through to them. Maybe, by writing this blog post I can reach a few of you. I plead, I beg of you -- take control of your health. What's the worst that can happen? You might actually enjoy exercise? Eating healthy? You may actually feel better? Improve your health? Lose weight? Live longer? Or actually live?

Recovery journal

Day 123: For the first time since the accident...I laced up my tennis shoes and hit the pavement walking on my surgically repaired leg. I walked about a mile and I felt pretty good. I started to limp a little on the way home -- pretty typical when I start to fatigue. Soon enough I'll be, dare I say, jogging.

Hello 2011… Goodbye 2010

As 2010 comes to a close, I’d like to thank God for giving me the courage, strength, and love for myself to fight this battle against obesity. When I set out walking back late in December ’09 I never imagined exactly where my feet would carry me. And, oh where and how they have carried me. I started walking merely to clear my head, but eventually I really started to enjoy the walks. One day while walking I had an epiphany – it was this day that has forever changed my life. 

I won’t bore you with a recap of my triumphs and struggles in 2010. Those of you who have followed and supported me know the stories. I will say this -- this is the last year that I’ll be fat. This time next year you won’t even recognize me. There, I said it, it’s in writing. My word is my bond.

My personal goal for 2011 is to continue to lose weight, strengthen my body – especially my core, and build my physical endurance. I pray for the continued mental strength and toughness I need to defeat obesity. This is the HARDEST thing I’ve ever done in my life and now that I’m closing in on defeating it for good, it only gets HARDER.  

As we begin a new year, blessings and peace to you all. For any of you struggling with weight issues and longing for a better, healthier lifestyle I hope that my story will inspire and support the internal motivation necessary to make it happen. Remember, YOU can do anything you set your mind to.

For once and for all, Farewell Fatso!

                                

        Since January '10 I've lost 54 lbs... But, gained so much more.



12/10

 

8/10

10/09

                                                               
                                   150 lbs. ago ... MISERABLE

7/04