Unfufilled: A childhood memory

Stew getting me adjusted

As a child, I watched from the sidelines of the school playground while the other kids hung from monkey bars, teetered on teeter-totters, jumped rope, and played all the games that children play. At home, I watched neighborhood friends, hop on their bikes and ride freely and effortlessly. I was always fearful to join in, because, you see, being overweight prohibited me. My youthful heart wanted to be out there jumping, skipping, riding, but my over-sized body kept me from the fun.

So, instead of the magical memories most associate with being a kid and playing outside. My childhood memories are of not being able to ride a bike, flattening its training wheels from being over the recommended weight, and avoiding physical activities by any means necessary.

But, I'm not one to dwell on the past. Besides, like Eminem said: "I guess, I had to go, to that place to get to this one." Here I am, today, and I've yet to learn to ride a bike. However, along my weight loss and get fit journey -- I've lost the fear factor. I now have a burning desire to overcome all the things that once held me back. And riding a bike is high up there on my bucket list!

I'm super-excited that my friend, Angela, has offered to give me a bike that she's not using. She's even going to help me learn how to ride it! Oh, what fun this will be. Of course, I'll update you on my riding adventures.

Zumba Memories

Rehabbing a fractured leg couldn't keep me away

For months. Day in. Day out. An eager group of women -- myself included -- filed in, scurrying to claim our spots and packing the room like sardines. The crowded, sweaty room never bothered us -- not too much anyway. We were too caught up in the rapture. Too caught up in the Latin rhythms, Hip Hop beats, and African drums. Oh, what fun we had shaking our hips, stomping our feet, laughing in Zumba.

The days I spent shaking my hips and laughing with the ladies were the early days of my self-discovery and weight loss journey. For me, it was a time where I met new friends, discovered things about myself, unleashed inhibitions, melted inches off of my waist -- while having a blast! In retrospect, the months that I spent in those countless Zumba classes were really when Chrisetta became alive.

Recently, a Zumba favorite came on in rotation while I was listening to my iPod. It brought back memories, Zumba memories. I soon found myself listening to Zumba tune, after Zumba tune. The music started getting really good and before I knew it I was up on my feet shaking it a little! Funny, I still remember some of the choreography. 

I was so moved by the music, I paused just for a moment to post a Facebook message to my Zumba friends, calling for a Zumba reunion. I surmised from my friends responses that they too felt the same. Those Zumba months were a very special time in all of our lives. For different reasons. Though it wasn't said, it was implied. We all needed each other, for one reason or another.  But, the season has passed. That's not a bad thing. It's a good thing. We've grown. We've moved on. Yes, we're still friends. Sure, we still love Zumba. But, the season has ended. Our time together in that capacity has expired. See previous blog post about reasons and seasons here.

We bonded in Zumba. We changed in Zumba. We had the time of our lives in Zumba. Through music. Through Salsa and Merengue. Through laughter.

Thanks Zumba for the friends, the smaller waists, and the memories.

Gettin' my walk on!

What a beautiful, crisp fall day it is! I just came in from getting my walk on. Those of you who've been following the blog from the beginning know that walking is how this journey of self-discovery/weight loss began in 2009. Whenever I'm feeling sluggish or need to rejuvenate -- I return to that place, that starting point. I'm a true believer in looking within for self-motivation. Chatting with loved ones, reading self-help books, and coming up with a game plan from trainers, are helpful tools and they all can play a role. At the end of the day, however, there's just me. So I lace up my tennis shoes, and put one foot in front of the other and try to figure it all out. How to maneuver from one point to another in this obstacle course called life.

For me walking is not so much about the physical exercise, but more about my mental health. Walking for me is cathartic. Taking in all the beautiful sights of nature, the fresh air, and just spending time with myself, thinking. Really thinking. Reflecting is what my walks are about. Walking does the mind and body good. So whenever I need a reboot, I get my walk on!

Healthy Looks

Confession: For a long time my weight loss efforts were tied to me achieving a certain look, and I associated being healthy with that look. It wasn't until I started working out at Northwest Personal Training (NWPT) that my attitude changed. 

Coming from a place of morbid obesity at the onset of my weight loss journey, I was losing the weight to save my life. I was so big -- 388 pounds, so miserable. I could barely walk, barely breathe. I was taking meds to control my high blood pressure and I was on the verge of developing a slew of other health problems. Once I started shedding the pounds and working out regularly my focus changed. I seemed to be skewing health and looks together. 

In retrospect, I now realize that working out in a corporate gym environment contributed to my skewed outlook. Sure, there were your average looking folks who were concerned with their health and fitness who worked out at the corporate gym, but mostly there were a lot of model like men and women. I started wanting to look like them. Be like them. I was pressuring myself to get to goal weight, obsessing over the scale, and trying to achieve a look. It was so superficial. So unreal. So unhealthy.

When I first started working out at NWPT in April, I had the same mentality -- get to goal weight, wear a size x and be healthy, fit. That wasn't happening fast enough and I was beating myself up. It was a conversation that I had with Sherri McMillian owner of NWPT that really started changing my focus. She told me that she wanted me not to worry so much about losing weight, but instead concentrate on getting stronger.

Months later, working out beside some of the strongest, healthiest folks at NWPT, I realize that healthy isn't about looks. Healthy is a way of life. Exercising. And not just exercising at the gym, finding physical activities that you enjoy and making them a part of your life. Eating well. Resting. Loving yourself. I'm proud to say, I no longer am focused solely on the way I look. Rather, I'm focused on putting all the pieces together -- it's a holistic approach. Sure, I still want to get to goal weight and by doing so inevitably my looks will change.  But now my focus is about truly being healthy and strong I'm not sure that really has a certain look.

Outside The Box

I do not eat food from a box.
I do not like it quite a lot.

I will not eat from a box.
I will not eat it any way or any day. 

I do not like food from a box.

I would not like food in a box here or there.
I would not like it anywhere.

I do not like food from a box.

Could you, would you from a car?
I could not, would not from a car.

Could you, would you from a couch?
I could not, would not from a couch.

Could you, would you from a restaurant?
I could not, would not from a restaurant.

I do not like food from a box.

Try it.
Try it you may.
Try it. Try it you may say.

If you let me be I will try it.
You will see.

See!
I do not like food from a box.

Over the course of my weight loss journey, plenty of folks have tried to sell dietary supplements and food products to me. Recently, I was even invited to sell MediFast. Ha. To each it's own. But I just don't buy into eating food from a box. Sure, it may be convenient, but I'm not looking for convenience. I want to prepare, cook, eat, and enjoy fresh, wholesome food. I love food too much to be a slave to packaged so-called food. I do not eat food from a box. I will not eat food from a box. I  eat outside the box.

To join my eat outside the box movement, buy a copy of my cookbook "Bringing Cooking Back."

Life's a blog

My blogging inspiration comes from everyday life. I draw from all sorts of experiences, situations, people, music, just everything. I've always enjoyed playing with words and sentences so blogging for me is an extension of life as I see it and a great way for me to continue playing with words. Most of my blog posts are written in my head before they ever reach the paper. Lots of them have yet to even meet paper -- they're just sitting in my mental queue.

I love sharing my weight loss journey, my life with you through blogging. Like a photographer, artist, musician, athlete blogging for me is my outlet and my way of sharing myself with you. Thanks for allowing me to share, inspire, motivate, and encourage. For me, life's a blog.

Have a great weekend!