Repost: Inside out

My self-transformation and weight loss journey began with a walk. For weeks, prior, I was drowning my sorrows and escaping from my fears by sleeping the days and nights away. But, during the brief waking moments there was a nagging voice within telling me to lace up my tennis shoes and go outside and take a walk. Obeying that nagging voice saved my life and is the reason I'm able to write this blog post today.

In the late fall of 2009 I was in a dark, miserable place. No job, no car, no boyfriend - all these losses happened within six weeks. I felt like I had no reason to go on. I felt like such a failure, loser. I couldn't imagine there was any reason to continue on. There were a number of things that required my attention. From my attitude to my finances. Losing everything forced me or I should say gave me the opportunity to sit still and figure out what was causing me to keep finding myself in dark situations.

The first walk (which by the way took every ounce of strength I had) was only ten minutes, but it opened my eyes and gave me a glimpse of light -- desperately needed light. After I strung together several days of walking I saw more light. I decided that maybe, just maybe I lost my job so that I could take the necessary time I needed to look within. I decided not to squander my gift and so I laced up my tennis shoes in the rain and sometimes in the snow. I used the walks outside to get fresh air, reflect, and get in touch with my inner self. Soon I began enjoying the walks they were cathartic for me and I was getting exercise. After a few months, I had even lost a few pounds.

In retrospect, I believe looking inward is the first step in starting a journey of this magnitude. I suspect (I know this was true for me) many of us who are struggling with weight and especially obesity have a myriad of other issues going on that lead us to food. Like I told the TOPS weight loss group I spoke with last week, I won't come out later and say I was raped or abused. I had a pretty normal childhood it's just that I found comfort, solace in food. Once I sat still with myself I found there were other things that brought me pleasure.  .

I started those walks just to save myself, but I ended up finding the whole me. Wellness and health aren't just about the physical state, quite the contrary, it's holistic. Once I started feeling better about myself, everything else just started coming together. When I started walking, I lost 8 pounds without really trying. The light was shining brighter and I started trying different things, surrounded myself with like-minded people, and became more social.

My self-transformation and weight loss journey has been from the inside out. I feel people should take time to look within and the rest will all come together. Today, I'm blinded by light: 170 pounds lighter, happier, and healthier -- it's a holistic approach. Might I suggest, if you are struggling with your weight, your health, spirituality, maybe it's time you look inward. Really, really look inward. Don't just make a plan, let the plan manifest in you. Inside out.