Recovery journal

Day 75: I'm pooped. I done more household chores today than I've done in along time. I put the finishing touches on my charming little bungalow and it now feels like MY home. Everything has a place and I love the way it smells in here:) Thanks, leg for cooperating -- I knew you could do it.

Lead By Example

The government has proposed stricter guidelines on food advertising to children (Click link for article from NY Times) . That's all fine and dandy, and I can appreciate all the efforts by our government to raise awareness, but really it starts with parents, at home. I'm proud to say I lead by example at my household. Check out this blog post I wrote a while ago. 

I talk the talk. I walk the walk. I lead by example. Throughout my journey to a healthier, active lifestyle there’s been one person with me every step of the way – my daughter, Jasmyn. In less than one year Jasmyn has lost 35 lbs. She went from a size 15 to a size 8. Naturally, when my diet changed, her diet changed too.

I’ve always been a lover of food and have preferred to cook at home rather than pick up fast food or eat at a restaurant. Therefore, we didn’t have to overcome eating out issues. No coincident, my mother cooked at home as well. I’ve always believed in a balanced meal: Protein, grains, and a vegetable. Early on I exposed Jasmyn to all sorts of foods so she’s never been a picky eater. She always has eaten veggies and definitely can enjoy an apple like her mom. Consequently, when it came time to make some changes around our house, the transition was smooth.

My priority was to cut down the number of high caloric meals I prepared - dishes loaded with cheese or smothered in gravy. I nixed white rice and white bread altogether. I eliminated the few packaged items I used such as, Rice-A-Roni and Stouffer’s meals. Juice and soda weren’t huge issues, but there were times I bought them and I stopped.

I involve Jasmyn in the kitchen all the time and I talk to her about our food choices. Throughout the last several months our diets have been dialed in and are a lot cleaner than they were even six months ago.  But, it's important to note, Jasmyn’s weight loss came in the first few months without exercise, simply by eliminating some foods from our diet. Now, since I’m more active, we exercise together. She has joined me at the gym in water aerobics, Zumba, and Boot Camp. Recently, she even witnessed one of my personal training sessions. We also play outdoors together: tennis, jogging, and shooting hoop.

It all starts with me. I'm her mother for goodness sake. I'm supposed to love her, care for her, and teach her. I realize, I’m her most influential role model and leader. That means I really can’t expect her to eat one way while I eat another. I can’t expect her to exercise and I don’t. I show and tell. I lead by example. She’s proof.  

Perception

 I look forward to the day I’m no longer perceived as fat. I’ve already adjusted my mindset and kicked the demons to the curb that use to call me fat. I’ve come to realize that fat is a state of mind. I’ve been there done that with the self-loathing and negative thoughts of myself. Never to return to that mind frame again. Apparently, however, society hasn’t gotten the memo. Their eyes can’t see past my shrinking girth.

The other day when I visited the Orthopedic doctor’s office the nurse brought the extra large, extra wide wheelchair. That thing was ginormous. Do I really look that big? Seriously, I could’ve easily fit into a normal size wheelchair I know this for a fact because that’s what I usually use. But her perception of me was big, jumbo, fat. Humph. Just a couple of months ago I encountered the same type of labeling from the hospital when they used ICD-9 code, 278.00 Obesity as my primary code on my surgical stay for a broken leg.

When will the labeling end? I guess I should not worry about it. I guess it should be enough that I know within myself that I’m no longer fat. I just want to walk into a room and not have a fat label automatically attached to me. Sigh. Surely, once the fat label is gone there’ll be something else. The heck with society’s perception of me – again, I say I’m not fat, I’m beautiful, vibrant, energetic, and healthy. 

Recovery journal

Day 71: Rejoice! All praise to the MAN above. As of today, I'm braceless. Yup, threw it in the garbage at doc's office. Doc says break/ bone is healed and I can bear some weight on my left leg. I'll be able to ditch the crutches in 12 days - eight weeks to the day. Doc says my hardware and scar look good and he feels that I'm right on track with recovery. Heavy sigh of relief. PT: Quads are firing and I was able to get full ROM on stationary bike -- it was AWESOME. I feel like a miracle child. The body is an AMAZING machine. It's a slow process, but I'm healing. It won't be long...

Crippled

I jokingly call myself crippled – which, according to the definition I am. The other day, however, as I drove home from a kick butt workout session with my Personal Trainer, Megan it occurred to me that I was more crippled when I weighed 388 lbs. than I am today with a broken leg. It takes a lot of physical effort to get around on a broken leg. When I first broke my leg there were some mental barriers I had to break through, but they weren’t nearly as stifling as the barriers I faced when I was morbidly obese (MO).

The effort to get to Megan’s studio as a MO person would have been overwhelming. There is a wicked flight of stairs that take you up to the studio and surely as a MO person I would have talked myself out of it. I mean the stairs would have caused labored breathing, sweat, all things that I would rather not have encountered as a MO person. But with a broken leg and shining spirit, I hobble out of my car on crutches to the back entrance of Megan’s studio and she assists me to the freight elevator. Once I’m in the studio I go to work. I perform exercises that some skinny supposedly in shape folks can’t perform. How? Why? My mind is free. My spirit is renewed. I’m no longer a passenger. I drive.

At 388 lbs., I was crippled by excuses. I was crippled with negative self-talk. I was crippled by obesity. No longer, not even a surgically repaired broken leg will keep me from doing what I long to do. I shake and gyrate in Zumba from a chair. I still go to the gym where I do upper body workouts and flirt with hot guys. I train with a personal trainer. I attend social events on crutches. Crippled is a state of mind and I am NOT crippled. I may hobble, wobble, and limp, but I go for it!

Recovery journal

Day 67: My wishes came true. I shook, gyrated, and laughed in Zumba - all from a chair. I soooo needed the energy, the love, and the sweat. And, because I still craved more I had a training session with the best. Phew. I was begging for a gritty workout and I got it. To end the day -- happy hour with friends. What a magnificent day. A broken leg is merely an inconvenience.

My story, our story

I'm actually about 10-15 lbs. lighter than Now photo

It doesn’t only have to be about me. My story could very well be your story. Whether you have 5 lbs. or 50 lbs. to lose, you too can shed the pounds and lead a healthier, fit lifestyle.

Sharing my story of losing over 160 lbs. is cathartic for me. I’ve said it many times before losing this amount of weight can’t be done in silence and so I write. Not only does sharing my story cleanse me, but I also share my story in hopes to reach others who struggle with weight, health, and self-esteem issues. I share my story to inspire, motivate, and encourage others. I share my story because I want people to realize that it’s doable – it’s within all of us. We all have the capacity to change. That’s the beauty of life – second chances. I’m no superhero (Okay, okay maybe I do have a few superpowers). Point is my story can very well be your story.

Since the inception of Farewell Fatso! a number of people have written to me for advice as well as to acknowledge how my story has helped them. One person in particular has been following me since the very beginning and she has recently just begun changing her lifestyle and creating her own story. She credits me for jump starting and inspiring her. Here’s a snippet of an email she sent to me the other day, “I wanted to let you know....I'M DOIN' IT. And thank you so much for sharing and inspiring ... I am living better and better and trying to pass it on to the family. Gotta start with me.”

I’m so honored and proud to have inspired her to action. Farewell Fatso! isn’t just for or about me, I hope to touch others lives as well – maybe even yours. Let my story be our story.

Recovery journal

Day 64: A mixed bag of emotions today. Mainly, feeling sorry for self. Anyhow, I managed, not to go off on anyone, nor did I bake the warm, doughy Dutch Baby for pure comfort that was calling my name. PT revealed my quads seem to be waking up and my ROM on bike has improved. Gym episode was okay. Highlight: Tall, dark haired, blue eyed stud who helped me load my bar with weights. ;) I made him blush - go figure.

Eating Healthy Never Tasted So Good

Stir fry: A great, tasty, quick way to prepare and eat vegetables. Last night, I tossed together a chicken stir fry served with organic brown rice. It was rich in color and vitamins.  Bok choy, broccoli, carrots, cremini mushrooms, cooked with Sesame Oil, and topped with green onions. The key to cooking stir fry is to get the oil really hot before adding vegetables and not to over cook them, which also turns them mushy and strips away their nutrients.

Renewing my efforts

I’ve been thinking and I’ve lost my way a bit. When I first created, Farewell Fatso! I was on a mission to create awareness about childhood obesity. Sadly, I admit, I have not been doing such a good job. As a product of childhood obesity, the childhood obesity epidemic is near to my heart. I want to do my part to help combat childhood obesity, anyway I can. So I’ve decided rather than make a whole lot of false promises that I can’t keep. I want to renew my efforts by posting childhood obesity information at least once a week. I want Farewell Fatso! to be a source for childhood obesity awareness among other issues. If I can find ways to do more, I will. Please if you have info you'd like to share on the page feel free to do so. Childhood obesity is everyone's problem. Let's do what we can to help. Enough talking already…Here’s what’s new - Beyonce has joined Michelle Obama’s Let’s Move! Campaign – check out this article and video:

  

http://www.starobserver.com.au/celebrity-2/2011/04/11/beyonce-joins-bulge-battle/49027

AIso, PLEASE read a previous blog post I wrote, “Broken hearted.”

 

Broken hearted

This week my girlfriend and I took our girls to the park. We had a great time chatting and interacting with the girls - running, jumping, swinging, playing tennis, and getting wet. It was good old fashioned fun, playing outdoors, running free - not bound to video games and treats. Of course we did bring snacks: oranges, apples, grapes, cherries, cheese, raw almonds, and a few other healthy goodies. The fresh fruit was a hit. My friend’s two-year old especially liked the apples and cherries. Lil Mama was too cute running around with her cherry-stained mouth. Good times!

But, in the midst of all the fun, my heart was broken when I saw a little girl who was well into a serious battle with obesity. She stood about 4’6 and weighed about 120 lbs. From the sweet innocence in her eyes I would say she was no more than eight years old. She was so heavy she struggled to walk. I swear her stomach was so big she looked about five months pregnant. When I saw her I stopped mid-conversation, nodded my head in disbelief, and started to cry. After regrouping, I started shouting out rhetorical questions to my friend “What on earth is going on?” “Where are her parents?” “Why aren’t they intervening?” “This is a child for goodness sakes someone is suppose to be taking care of her.”  “Why isn’t someone taking care of her?”

I was and still am hurt to the core by the sight of this little girl. Most of my pain is because she reminded me of myself as a child. Oh, my God. I just wanted to run to her, shake her, hug her, talk to her, but it dawned on me even if I did talk to her it would be lost on her. For she is only a child. She needs guidance and support from her parents.

Parents with overweight children I plead with you to seek the help your child needs and deserves. Parents, you are the ROCK, you are the foundation – it all starts with you. Please call and make an appointment with your child’s pediatrician to develop a plan. In the meantime, check out these websites for tips:

http://www.letsmove.gov/
http://www.helpcurechildobesity.com/child-obesity-in-america-forums.html
http://kidshealth.org/parent/nutrition_fit/nutrition/overweight_obesity.html


Afterthought: She was not the only overweight kid I saw at the park that day. There was another elementary school aged girl, a very round little boy, and a teen girl whose stomach protruded over her jeans. People - this is such a HUGE problem. We can’t sit back and let obesity claim our children.

Recovery journal

Day 52: Five weeks post-op. In PT I learned my quads STILL aren't firing. No quads, no walking, no good. So she assigned double quad homework. Dropped JUMBO clothing off at consignment store, due to make $135 profit if everything sells. Other goods went to Salvation Army. Picked up some grass-fed lean ground beef. I'm going to make Taco Lettuce Wraps for dinner. Delish! Today was a good day (Ice Cube's voice).

278.00 – Obesity, Unspecified

I’m ticked off. Outraged. I mean, really? How dare they classify me as obese? I just received an Explanation of Review from my accident claim and they had the nerve to use ICD-9 code 278.00 Obesity – Unspecified as one of the primary codes for my hospitalization.  Meanwhile, the reason I was hospitalized 823.00 Closed Fracture of Upper End Tibia was the last code. Hah.

I realize that I’m still considered overweight, but to come in with a broken leg and be diagnosed as obese is insulting. Apparently, all they could see was my girth. Never mind, my broken leg. Those people have no idea what I’ve gone through to shed the pounds. What I’ve gone through to create a healthy, fit life for myself. Sure, at 388 lbs. I was obese, but no longer. I’m really bothered by this. I feel like placing a call to SW Washington Medical Center and telling them to shove it -- all $44,422.48. Jerks.

Thank you

Again, I say thank you to all my followers for allowing me to share my story. Losing 160 lbs. is no small feat and I CAN'T do it in silence. Thank you, thank you for letting me rant, rave, and everything else. Peace and much love.

Recovery journal

Day 48: "Training Day" with Megan was da bomb. She's a rockstar. Man, did I sweat! My fave exercise of the day was pulling these huge ropes with a 35lb. kettlebell attached. Oh yeah! At gym I ran into two of my lovely friends who I hadn't seen in a while so we chatted and then I pseudo rode stationary bike. I really, really love the life I've created for myself -- even with a broken leg. Down but NEVER out.

Eating Healthy Never Tasted So Good

Sunday lunch: Grilled Ahi Tuna Steak marinated in lime juice, olive oil, garlic, and ginger root. Served with a bed of red leaf lettuce topped with pears, toasted pecans, and a drizzle of balsamic vinaigrette. Divine!