Genuine Love

Since the inception of Farewell Fatso! a little over two weeks ago, three mothers of overweight children have reached out to me. The common thread between the mothers is their love and concern for the health of their children.

One of the hardest things about change is, it's flat out HARD! Especially when it comes to telling our kids no, but when dealing with an epidemic as large as childhood obesity – it is imperative we say NO and make the necessary changes. Let’s show our kids we love them by not pacifying them with sweets, treats, and food but with genuine love.

I would like to share an email exchange I had last week with one of the mothers, my friend, as I think it may help others. I’ve withheld the actual names of the people to protect their identities.

Lauren’s email to Farewell Fatso!

…I really do need to talk. I hate to admit it, I am not a great example and Shelby is well not thin. It's hard as a parent to admit certain things about your child. I know she's beautiful, but I really don't want her to struggle with body image like I did, or at all for that matter. It hit hard this year while trying school clothes on and she cried. I won't say she's fat and it's just as hard to admit she's overweight. I just want her to feel comfortable in her own skin. We LOVE food. She's chubby okay I'm saying it. AND she's got my athletic deficiency. And when it comes to food, I feel so bad trying to limit her portions etc. I don't want to cause her to feel insecure like I feel my dad did with me. IDK it's just a fine line that I am struggling with. She's developed a dislike for veggies and has limited fruit likes. She's much like me...a meat and potatoes kinda gal. But I do love veggies now too. NOT to mention it's expensive to eat healthy now-a-days. Produce, in most cases, costs more that meat anymore. Red, Yellow, Orange peppers OUTRAAGEOUS. I love them, but simply cannot afford them. And I have gained so much weight over the last 4 years it ridiculous. I quit smoking in January and probably put on another 30 pounds. I don't eat THAT much or THAT THAT bad. But I eat it all wrong and do that starve all day binge at night and go to sleep thing. The canned veggie blog.....that's all me. I try to feed us all right, but it's hard sometimes. We have salad with dinner at least 4 times a week. I do a side a meat and a veggie most nights. But it still feels wrong. I know I sound like I'm full of excuses, really right now, I'm reaching out and expressing what seems to be roadblocks to me. It doesn't help having other people in the house with other feelings. David's grandmother lives with us raised David on fried foods and real butter, sour cream, etc. She doesn’t care much for my style of eating. Baked/grilled not fried, low fat items where you can etc. I don't even really know how to fry stuff. I never used to even keep cooking oil in the house really till David moved back in with me 6 years ago. And I cannot afford to buy doubles in everything. IDK I'll shut up now....it's just that, well if I wasn't thinking before....you got me thinking now. Heavy sigh, long story short, I am proud of you; I miss you and would love to see you soon. We need to catch up. Keep up the good work I am very very very proud of you for all you've accomplished, not just the weight stuff but everything. You're really an amazing woman and have come so far.

xoxo
Lauren

Farewell Fatso’s reply email to Lauren

Ahh…thanks so much for your complete honesty. I just read an article that talked about parents struggling to admit their child is overweight. So that was huge of you! That's the first step in solving any problem - admitting there is one. I’m so glad you opened up to me. This is exactly why I started the blog to raise awareness and offer support.

Now, I’m gonna hit straight at the hip… You talk about issues with other outside forces and while they all are valid. They still are excuses, nonetheless. You are Shelby's rock – you are her foundation. It's up to you to guide her through this. Yes, eating healthy is expensive and you may have to learn how to budget shop to get the right items in your household but whatever the cost are I think it's imperative that you make the necessary changes. Last week, I helped a friend rid her pantry and fridge of all the crappy stuff, made a grocery list of good foods, and we went grocery shopping together. I’m willing to do the same for you. It’s very important that you lead by example and Shelby is at the age where you can talk openly with her and let her know you want to help her. Helping her will also help you. This can be a rewarding reciprocal relationship. Since I restarted loosing weight in December, Jasmyn has dropped 30 lbs. She didn’t even try it’s just because I was making better food choices for the household. Please let me know if you’d like me to help – it would be my pleasure.

You’re doing a great job! I know it’s hard raising a child. Especially a girl, so hang in there this is going to work out! Shelby is beautiful – she looks a lot like her mama.

Hugs,

Chrisetta

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Please parents with overweight children I plead with you to seek the help your child needs and deserves. Parents, you are the ROCK, you are the foundation – it all starts with you. Please call and make an appointment with your child’s pediatrician to develop a plan. In the meantime, check out these websites for tips:

http://www.letsmove.gov/
http://www.helpcurechildobesity.com/child-obesity-in-america-forums.html
http://kidshealth.org/parent/nutrition_fit/nutrition/overweight_obesity.html

Afterthought: I think I might as well coin this term now, “Let’s show our kids we love them by not pacifying them with sweets, treats, and food but with genuine love.” So if it starts popping up everywhere we all know its origin.