Tuesday, May 24, 2011
|About nine years old already deep in a battle with obesity|
Anyway, I started writing this blog because I wanted to publicly document my journey, share my story. I never imagined that sharing my story would actually be cathartic for me. In retrospect, perhaps I really started writing because I don't know any other way. Those wild stories I use to write as a child where my brief escape from my childhood and penning my lifetime battle with obesity is my escape now.
I've been obese since I can remember and so losing this weight is not about just losing the weight. I have layers, upon layers of emotional, spiritual damage to repair. I'm learning how to love myself. Truly, love myself. There are no quick fixes for this. This is my life. I'm trying to figure out new ways to handle things without turning to food. I'm trying to create a healthy relationship with food and exercise. When I write to y'all it is raw. I mean what I say, these are my true feelings. So sometimes I may seem a little contradictory, unbalanced -- I am. I am fat. I am not fat. I am thin. I don't want to be thin. I am everything in between. Bear with me, I am trying to finding myself and this is the only way that I know how.
Thank you all for allowing me to document my journey, share my story. I can not do this alone nor do I want to . True, I've never met most of you, but knowing that you're out there encouraging me, offering your kind words and advice gives me the strength to go on. "You're my hero. You inspire me. ...When you share with the rest of us, we all gain a little something too." Your words keep me going on days when I can't find it internally. I'm telling y'all what I'm about to do is big. I am going to turn childhood obesity statistics upside down. Not many people beat childhood obesity once they become adults. It's usually just too late. All of you get to say you helped me. Thank you for helping me. The day we reach the finish line is going to be sweet victory. For once and for all, Farewell Fatso!