Baggage

I opened my third motivational speech on Friday by holding up my old jumbo jeans. A baby Rhino could easily fit in those jumbo jeans and oh wee they are heavy. All jokes aside. Those jeans bring back some pretty horrific memories for me. Memories of a lazy, unenthused, unhappy, bitter, person trapped inside of an enormous body. I longed for more, but couldn't find a way out.

I tell you this has been the hardest battle I've ever fought: layers of emotional stuff, 175 lbs., countless inches.  In my speech, I credited hard work, staying the course, making adjustments, believing in myself, and never giving up. All of which have made me successful, but there's more to it. Those are tangible things, it's the intangible, the unexplainable inner strength that propels me. That's the one thing, I can't help others with. I'm currently, taking a Wellness Coaching class and so far after three weeks, the textbooks don't seem to provide the answer either. I say all this to say, I don't really know how I came to find the courage, strength, and determination to battle obesity head on. I can say, however, I'm so much happier for it. I'll never return to that dark, miserable, self-loathing place. I no longer wear those jumbo jeans or any of the emotional baggage. I wish I could give all those who are trapped the magic answer. Flip the switch, but it's something internal. Maybe sharing my story will help others find it too. Meanwhile, I can proudly say, "I use to wear these, but now I wear these."