Seattle University here I come!

Honored. Humbled. Super excited. I've been invited back to Seattle University my alma mater to be featured in SU Magazine. The university that awarded me a bachelor's degree in journalism. The college that challenged me and urged me to grow. The place where I finally had to take a deep look at myself will feature me in their 2012 Winter edition. I've had some press lately, but by far this will be the most meaningful. So here I come Seattle University. I will proudly take on the stairs that intimidated me as an obese person and walk briskly up the hills that alluded me.Oh yeah, and best believe I'm going to sit in an attached desk/chair while I'm on campus.

If I'm dreamin' please don't wake me up. Seattle in 7 days - Wednesday, September 7th.

I shop at Neiman Marcus

I can finally say that I love myself enough to not settle for anything less than I deserve. I'm no longer willing to work in a dead end job that zaps my spirit, no longer willing to hang around folks who are not positive, and I no longer desire to be in the company of a man who is, well, Kmart standards. My self transformation journey has brought me to a place where I recognize my self-worth. 

It's been a long time coming, but I finally believe what my girlfriend told me about myself, men, and dating, "You are a prize to be won." She's right. If a man steps to me. He needs to win me. After all, a man seeks a wife. You see, I've been single for quite sometime now. I've been in a few brief relationships on and off that tapped out really fast. In retrospect, I realize some of the reasons the so-call relationships didn't work were because of some of my ways. I was too lonely, needy, vulnerable, and way to eager to just be in someone's company. Ha ha. No more. I also realize that most of the men I was allowing in to my life were not on my level. I don't shop for my clothes at Kmart so why am I shopping for my men there. You with me?

Last weekend, I went to a Reggae club to celebrate my birthday. No sooner than I walked in the door a 6'4, 225 lbs. handsome gentleman, Mr. Barbados, struck up a conversation with me and bought me a drink. He left his Visa card open at the bar and insisted my Lemon Drops were made with only Grey Goose Vodka. We spent the night talking, laughing, and dancing. Oh, how we danced. He treated me like a prize to be won. He was truly interested in just being in my company. When the evening was over he shook my hand and told me he had a fantastic time sharing my birthday with me. It was so refreshing to share an evening with a true gentleman - he was a class act.

As I reflect on our encounter, I'm sure that my new found confidence and love for myself was apparent. When Mr.Barbados saw me he recognized he was in the presence of a lady. Not a lonely, vulnerable, willing to do anything to be in his company girl, but instead a lady. Therefore, I was treated like a lady. I've said this before, this journey is not about what I've lost, but EVERYTHING I've gained. I now recognize my self-worth and I shop strictly at Neiman Marcus.

Forward movement and change

Change is good.  Change is frightening. Change is liberating. Change is necessary.   So often we become stagnant in our everyday lives and are afraid to make changes. Even when the changes are for the better. It could be the smallest change: a new hair cut, maybe spruce up our living room with a new bold color paint, or buy a new daring pair of shoes. Then there's the major changes: dump the partner that is zapping our energy, quit the dead end job, or lose those unwanted 30 lbs. Whatever it is that is keeping us in a negative place we often opt to stay there because we're fearful of making the changes and putting in the necessary work. It's a crazy oxymoron.

Everything is going well in life all is fine and dandy. We find ourselves in a comfort zone. We like our job, our partner, etc., but there are always areas that we can improve to make us better.  I'm always looking for ways to improve, grow. I strive everyday to be better. I refuse to become complacent and sit still. Life is about forward movement. My weight loss and self transformation journey to date is the BIGGEST change I've ever made. I say this all the time, this is a transformation from the inside out. Besides, making changes in my diet and becoming physically active. There were plenty of things I did NOT like about my character:

• I'd tell someone I was going to do something and then I wouldn't. And, to boot I'd have a flip attitude about it if they asked me about it. 
• I gave up really easy. If anything caused a challenge. Forget it. Game over. I quit.
• I didn't value myself and had a horrible desire for validation from others
• Negative outlook
• Selfish, selfish, selfish

I've had to take a long hard look at myself and make all sorts of changes. It's been a long painful yet very rewarding journey. Sometimes, I wonder when will I stop changing.  I think, I can honestly say-- never.

For those in a comfort zone. For those in a negative place. I challenge you to find it within yourself to make the necessary changes to do whatever is you want to do, reach whatever goal you want to reach, and become the BEST person you can be. One thing is for sure, you can't keep doing the same things and get different results. If you've been contemplating making changes in your lives - the time is now. Here's to forward movement and change.

Summer stroll on waterfront

Sometimes the simplest things yield the most pleasure. What a pleasant Sunday afternoon I had with my dear friend from middle school, Jamie strolling Portland's Tom McCall Waterfront Park. Enjoying the people, the sights, and the sounds.

Ebb and flow

I seem to be flyin' on high and then boom! I hit a brick wall. Up. Down. In. Out. I guess, it's the natural ebb and flow of life. I truly, don't know why I feel sad. I just kinda do. So rather than read too much into it or try to talk myself out of feeling blue.  I'm just embracing my sadness as it lets me know I'm human. I know how to feel and emote. Don't worry no chocolate chip cookies are needed.

**Afterthought:

I guess maybe the term sad, blue, or melancholy may be to extreme of words. Perhaps somedays I'm just lower energy than others. Heck, there's no possible way to fly high everyday, right? Now, if I go days feeling kinda low then maybe I need to re-evaluate but otherwise I'll just chock it up to the normal ebb and flow of life.

Happy knees

My grandmother use to say, "I'm no flim flam fool," but sometimes I certainly act like it. It's only been 6 1/2 months since having Open Reduction surgery to repair Tibial Plateau Fracture and I thought it would be a good idea to try and deadlift. Really? My trainer, Steve, was less than thrilled about the idea, but he knew from the look in my eye there was no stopping me. So he figured he should at least help me with my form and grip.

Well, my hard-headed, stubborn nature caused me to tweak my almost rehabbed leg/knee. For the last few days my leg has been really bothering me and my foot very swollen. Yesterday, I went to visit my Orthopedic doctor to tell him of my concerns.  Here's what I found out:

• I should NOT perform deadlifts, jumping jacks, jogging, or any motion that will jar my leg. Duh, I just underwent MAJOR leg/knee surgery. Steve is just saying "I told you so."
• Cycling is the best option for me it will keep my knees lubed and is the safest, best overall bang for my buck. Again, Steve is just saying "I told you so."
• As an alternative swimming would be another great form of exercise.
• Deadlifts are only good for football players. None of us common folk need to strengthen those particular muscle groups. Besides, he said most folks do them wrong.
• Dynamic workouts are okay for athletes, but most people overuse them and cause more damage than good. 
• Squats are overrated. No real reason to perform them.

As we closed our visit he advised me to stick with the cycling it creates "Happy knees."

Eating Healthy Never Tasted So Good: Santa Fe Quinoa Salad

I made this dish up based on my taste buds and experience with the ingredients. The result a fresh, spicy protein rich salad.

Quinoa (a tiny grain, full of protein and great flavor) was the base of the salad. Organic chicken breast rubbed in cumin, chili powder, and cayenne pepper,organic black beans, red and yellow grape tomatoes, diced red onions, and freshly squeezed lime juice. Served tepid.

Believe

People are going to say all sorts of things about you - good and bad. People will think what they think about you - good and bad. That's just life. It's human nature -- I guess. Throughout this journey and in life I've met plenty of folks who have had words of advice for me. Plenty of folks who have doubted me. Last summer, I was working with someone who told me that I was too worried about blogging and needed to focus more on myself if I wanted to get the weight off - read earlier post, "Do You."  Where would I be if I would have listened to her? Not on the front page of The Columbian, live on AM Northwest, and certainly not writing this blog post. Thank goodness, I believed in what I was doing and kept pursuing blogging.

When I was hit by a car and suffered a fractured Tibia in February of this year some folks around me gave up on me. I'm sure, they thought I wouldn't rehab my leg and doubted I could continue to lose weight. My physical therapist said it's unheard of to not gain any weight while rehabbing a fractured leg. Again, within 6 1/2 months I've completely rehabbed a fractured Tibia, remained positive, and lost 15 lbs. How? Because I believe in myself. No matter what others think of me or what they say about me. I know within myself I can do anything I set my mind to.  This battle is mine and mine alone so outside forces and people don't rattle me.

I'm not saying I don't take others advice. Surely, I do, but I take what folks say with a grain of salt. If the information or advice is reasonable, applicable I use it. Otherwise, it's just someone else's opinion. At the end of the day. Everyday, I believe in myself - that is unwavering.

Fit by Forty

The official bid for my quest to be "Fit by Forty" begins! I have exactly one year until my 40th birthday. In order to make my weight goal of 160 lbs. I need to lose an additional 60 lbs. Although I have set the weight goal I realize that it may be the most difficult goal of all to achieve. I know how tricky the human body is so instead of getting all wrapped up in numbers, I will concentrate on things I can control:

• Continue to dial in on the MOST important factor, diet
• Improve my physical endurance by pushing myself a little further in workouts
• Perform more challenging exercises
• Speak kind, positive, affirming words to myself
• Proper rest and recovery - balance
• Laugh and have fun - this is going to be one heck of a ride

On my 40th birthday I plan on being in the best physical, mental, emotional shape of my life. Not Serena William's life or my friend, Katina's life, but MY life. I've haven't been under 200 lbs. for as long as I can remember so I'm not really even sure what I will look like or feel like - so excited to find out. Of course, I will keep you updated with photos, FB updates, and blog posts.

Celebrating!

Tomorrow's my 39th birthday as I reflect, it's been quite a year. I have so many reasons to celebrate!

• A beautiful daughter
• Wonderful parents and family
• Positive, supportive, loving friends
• I rehabbed a fractured tibia and did NOT gain a single pound - lost 10 
• A successful blog with the best followers
• A bright future in public speaking or wherever the path leads me
• And, of course, my health! To date, I've lost 170 lbs. and counting... I feel great!

This weekend, I'm going to let my hair down. It's time to partay!

Annual cleanse

I'm feeling mighty fine! Yesterday, I completed a 14-day Supreme Cleanse. Since I've been on a mission to lose weight and live a healthier lifestyle cleansing my body of toxins and pollutants with the use of a cleanse has become an annual affair  Not only does cleansing remove toxins and pollutants, but I personally like cleansing because of the suggested dietary changes (no dairy, wheat, chocolate, beef, etc.). It's just really a nice clean way of eating and the body sure seems to appreciate it. I guess, it's like a little vacay for the body.

This year, I purchased my cleanse kit from Whole Foods: Gaia Herbs Supreme Cleanse. The products were gentle yet effective -- my skin is a glow and I feel great.

Too much

My dear friend who is mother of an eight year old obese daughter called to tell me that she finally has decided to make some changes to their diets by introducing fresh veggies and fruits. Good for her for taking control of her health and her children's health. If her daughter had cancer or diabetes she would take the necessary steps to care for her. So why should preventing obesity be any different?

My friend went on to tell me that she was stocking up on carrots because the little girl really liked carrots and she wanted her to be able to snack on them endlessly. After all, it's only carrots, right? Hmm...Wrong. Bear with me, y'all.  I feel as if too much of ANYTHING is not good for us. I think by allowing her daughter to eat carrots until she's orange is not the right approach either. Sure, carrots are full of nutrients, vitamins and low calorie, but I think allowing her to have the mindset that it's okay to overeat is still in play here.  The healthy approach is to allow her to have some carrots until she is comfortably full. It's the mental - obsessing over food. Take it from someone who's been there, done that -- too much of anything is no good. Everything in moderation. Yes, even carrots.

Lights! Camera! Action!

Wonderful people,

So much has happened since the inception of Farewell Fatso! -- just over a year ago. And, things have really picked up in the past month: My weight loss success story made front page of The Columbian, I made my motivational speaking debut, blog traffic has increased, and today I'll appear live on AM NW.

I can honestly say when I started blogging I never knew what it would become other than a place for me to rant and rave. Never did I imagine it would come to this. This has become about motivating, inspiring, encouraging, and helping others. This has been an amazing journey -- and, ironically it's not so much about what I've lost, but instead it's about EVERYTHING I've gained. In the midst of losing 170 lbs. I've become a confident, vibrant, fit, woman who has a huge network of supportive, positive people rooting for me. I'm honored, humbled, proud, and tickled pink.

Enough with the sentiment, I have to get to the studio. See you in a little bit.

Much love,

Chrisetta

All food is NOT created equal

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but all food is NOT created equal. The other day, I was at the store and saw a lady with a grocery cart full of NO-NOs. Cheap, processed food in packages, boxes, and cans. I did not catch a glimpse of any real food. Didn''t I just blog about this a few weeks ago? UGH. Anyway, here's the deal:

• Blue Bonnet is full of crap and it's NOT butter
• Cream CAN'T be light or fat-free - uh, it's cream!
• Fat-free and light mayo, sour cream - yeah, right

I personally, NEVER use anything light or fat free. Phooey. I don't want to compromise the taste of my food. I'd rather eat and fully enjoy less of the real thing. Actually, as a rule of thumb it's better to stay away from the light and fat-free foods because they usually have more calories. After all, they have to replace the fat with something. Don't believe me? Check out this article:
http://www.webmd.com/diet/guide/low-fat-diet?print=true

Life's a blog

My blogging inspiration comes from everyday life. I draw from all sorts of experiences, situations, people, music, just everything. I've always enjoyed playing with words and sentences so blogging for me is an extension of life as I see it and a great way for me to continue playing with words. Most of my blog posts are written in my head before they ever reach the paper. Lots of them have yet to even meet paper -- they're just sitting in my mental queue.

I love sharing my weight loss journey, my life with you through blogging. Like a photographer, artist, musician, athlete blogging for me is my outlet and my way of sharing myself with you. Thanks for allowing me to share, inspire, motivate, and encourage. For me, life's a blog.

Have a great weekend!

Entitlements

I've mentioned before how I love surrounding myself with positive, encouraging folks -- losing 175 lbs. is too hard without a support system. Well, I met a guy about six months ago at the gym who totally inspires and encourages me. I've come to admire and adore him. I've written about him before "Do What You Can" fella.

Yesterday, I received a beautiful, insightful email from him on the topic of motivation. I would like to share it with you as it piggybacks off of yesterday's post, "Don't give up on yourself."

So here it is: from Stephen Nelson aka "Do What You Can" fella

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I have been told by many that we can not motivate others – and I agree.  But, we can discuss what tools we use to keep ourselves where we want to be, and hope others find something that works.

And so, this is a random meander through my thoughts on motivation as I stretched this morning.

OK then, let’s start with motivation for stretching:  I feel better when I get done.

Really short term.  And effective.

When I was in college I made a rule – I didn’t have to study evenings on days that I took a test.  OK – made it pretty important to get homework done ahead of time, but being able to go visit my lady friend (who was at another university some 35 miles away) was a strong motivator.  And, with time, I came to look forward to taking tests.  See – “test” equaled “quality time with my lady friend”.  Coming to view tests as a positive thing has served me extremely well – it is amazing how much better one does when one is not nervous about a test – is in fact excited about the test.

 So, while my first example reflects being honest with oneself (you really will feel better if you start your day with stretches) my second involves a bit of prevarication – overall it was sometimes a real challenge to make my test night off rule work – but it made me look forward to taking tests.  And resulted in better grades.

I call this my lying to myself rule.  Or maybe just misleading myself.  It leads to my next example – I told myself, when I was doing the 8 to 5 routine (30 years as an engineer) that working out was what I did everyday for me.  Every day.  For me – not for someone else.  And, whilst true, the corollary was the import thing – No one was going to take it away from me.  Everyday I worked out at lunch.  Which meant I missed a lot of the noon group sessions with people who’s waist lines grew every year.  Don’t get me wrong, I was not a body builder or anything like that – I was just a skinny engineer who was reasonably fit.  And who had a reputation for not “doing lunch”.  Hurt my career – likely.  Hurt my fitness – like NO!

And today – when I retired 3 years ago, I gave myself a couple of presents.  One was the right to work out 2 hours each day (OK – I take the weekends off to recover) and the other was getting to play the hammered dulcimer.  If one looks at such things as a right – as something we entitle ourselves to do – an entitlement – and then we treat them as rights or entitlements (as in not letting silly things get in their way) – at least for me, I have a better chance of keeping them going.  

And, hey, if one does in fact keep them going, one can actually do a really great job of improving ones strength and physique, as well as making beautiful music.

Funny that, when I feel frustrated by something, I often find myself reflecting on how much I have improved my bod, or how much I love the music I now play, and feel pretty darned good about myself.  These two “entitlements” have become two significant sources of satisfaction in my life.  People need to realize – satisfaction, happiness, they come from doing – not from sitting on ones backside.  I suspect satisfaction is going to be a recurring theme in my writing – I suspect you have heard the expression “curiosity killed the cat”.  Interestingly this in only the first part of an important truism – the second part is “satisfaction brought he/she/it (politically correct equivalent of “him) back”.

Lying to oneself – hmmm – if it means convincing oneself that working out and practicing a musical instrument are what we are going to do – I’m all for it.

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There you have it folks. I hope you enjoyed his words and perhaps even feel motivated.  He's contemplating starting his own blog. He so gets my vote to go for it!

Don't give up on yourself

Bear with me I've been bitten by the speech bug and I'm still kind of in that mode.

There I was all by myself trembling, sweating, and about to give up on the plank. If I gave in and released the plank, who would know? It was in that moment I recalled being in boot camp fatigued and ready to collapse to the ground from plank position when the instructor, Jen said these words, “Don’t give up on yourself.” I held the plank that day because of those inspiring words and ever since have used them to help me get through tough workouts. After all, throughout all this there is ONLY me. This isn’t a show for anyone else. I don’t show up at the gym just because I want to be seen there or have bragging rights about having gone there. I started this journey because of an internal desire to change myself.


At 388 lbs. I was a miserable soul, so whenever I get discouraged or feel like giving up I remember the alternative. This battle is not being fought for anyone else. This battle is mine and mine alone. I push myself to the limit because I never, ever, ever want to return to that lonely, miserable place again. I push myself because I want to be healthy and fit. I push myself because I want to look good. Heck, one day I want to sashay around in a pair of 4” heels. So when I’m working out and at the brink of giving up from embarrassment, fatigue, or a combination thereof, I push through.


I've been talking a lot lately with Steve my trainer/buddy about how we wish we could find the magic solution to keep folks motivated. I talk to lots of folks through my blog and FB page - I love when folks reach out to me. That's one of the reasons I blog. Anyhow, I notice folks sometimes seek my advice and they start off with great intentions then all the sudden I don't hear from them anymore. Too often Steve gets clients that start working out with him who are all revved up and next thing he knows they cancel their appointments. Of course, there could be a number of factors as to why these folks cancel and stop seeking advice -- please, I don't want to assume anything, but I will say this is a mental battle like no other. I believe, perhaps folks set their expectations to high and when the return doesn't happen fast enough they give up.

Folks when the going gets tough, you have to figure out a way to talk past the demons. They'll be all sorts of demons telling you, you can't do it -- it's too hard. The road to a healthy, fit lifestyle is not going to be easy. Especially, with all the set-ups: Fast, cheap, convenvient food, drive-thrus, etc. There are going to be obstacles, but you have to find a way to manuever around them. It's not about me, Steve, your spouse, your daughter -- this is about YOU. Don't give up on yourself.


Take it from someone who to date has lost more than 170 lbs. and counting. I'm not just talking out the side of my neck. Oh, the obstacles I've encountered. Believe me, I know how hard it is. But, I also know that I'm worth it. I'll never, ever give up on myself.

Like minds

I believe I've mentioned this before, I ♥ working out! As a fat person with a slothenly attitude I avoided physical activity like the plague. And, the gym would have of course been out of the question. Now, that I'm on a mission to live a healthy, active lifestyle I love going to the gym. The gym is my playhouse. I get my exercise on, chat with folks, and share ideas. The gym is the place where I feel like I'm a part of the team --the team that I was not a part of in my youth.

At the gym, we all are working towards the same ultimate goal - to be fit and healthy. As I'm getting my work out on, I like glaring around the gym and watching everyone else's workout routine. The buffed guy back in the corner hitting the hang cleans. The toned female taking the length of the gym doing lunges with weights in her hands. The not so sure lady on the treadmill going at a snail's pace. No matter, we are all there trying. I love it. Love it. Love it.

Those who know me, know I'm not shy. So it's pretty easy for me to conjure up conversation and boy do I. I've made so many acquaintances and friends at my gym. I've gotten some useful tips and info from inside the walls of 24 Hour-Fitness. For me it's been important to surround myself with folks that are like minded. Sure, not everyone at the gym is exactly on the same level or page as me, but for the most part, most are and I need positive, encouraging folks to keep me focused. It's too hard otherwise. Again, I say, I ♥ working out and hanging with folks that have like minds.

"Free Your Mind"

Jeannine in the middle

At the time, I started taking Zumba classes I weighed in about 290 lbs. and was very out of shape. Not only was I physically out of shape but this was at the beginning of my self-transformation journey and so my mind was still full of negative thoughts and ideas.

One day while I was waiting with other ladies for Zumba class to start -- about the second week of taking the class (three tmes a week) I began chit chatting with two of the ladies who were regulars. One of them seemed to have such a cheery disposition while the other lady just kind of stared at me - it seemed like in disgust. The cheery disposition woman, Dotsy, Hawaiian descent - tall, curvy. The other lady was a white, blue-eyed, thin woman. Anyhow, since I had become a die hard Zumba fan I started to be around these women quite a bit. Just so happens that on another day I was joking and talking with them. Full of sass -- I said something like, soon I'll be tiny like her (white, blue-eyed, thin woman) and be able to expose my midriff too. She (blue-eyed, thin woman) said "No I want to be curvy like you." Huh? Really? So this wrecked my theory. I thought, Jeannine, was totally grossed out by me, by my fatness. Heck, my blackness. I had even deemed her as a stuck up little white woman. Ha ha.

Over time, I became even more friendly with the ladies and besides gyrating and shaking together we would go to coffee, lunch, etc. In talking to Jeannine more I found out that she is not white, not stuck up, she looks at me with great admiration (even called me her fitness hero), and thinks I'm beautiful. Wow! Talking about reading someone wrong.

Jeannine and I have become dear friends. She is a huge supporter of my blog -- supporter of me. She has come to my Stella & Dot jewelry party, Healthy Cooking class, and when I fractured my leg she took me to my first physical therapy appointment. Her sister passed away a few months ago she called me because she wanted me to go shopping with her. She said that I would boost her spirits like no one else could. We shopped, laughed, and enjoyed lunch together that day.

Rollin' in Tangerine Dream

I'm so glad the universe brought us together. And, more importantly thank goodness I let go of my negativity and opened up my heart to receive this gift, this beautiful friendship. Jeannine is a fit, colorful woman full of life and wisdom. I'm amazed at her great big heart - she doesn't kill ants instead she moves them back outside. I love you, Jeannine Adelina Grandjean!

I'm singing the EnVogue song from the early 90's

 "Free your mind and the rest will follow

Be color blind, don't be so shallow..."

**I only used race to show how narrow minded I was - not prejudice. Quite the opposite, but...you get where I'm going I hope.

Humble Beginnings

Today, I made my motivational speaking debut. I'd have to say, I rocked the house. Those older gents where hanging onto my every word. Afterwards, 99 year old, Dominic said: Your message is a gift from God."

Dominic - 99 years old

I'm humbled, proud, and full of joy. This is just the very beginning my friends. 

The American Dream

Tomorrow, I'll make my motivational speaking debut. I'm super-excited as this is something I've always wanted to do. My girlfriend and I, have long said that I would make a great motivational speaker. We just  never knew what capacity I would motivate folks, but here it is! I'm grateful, proud, and honored. 

The five themes I'll follow:                                 

1. Hard work
2. Making adjustments
3. Staying the course
4. Believing in self
5. Never giving up

Here's a snippet of my speech:


"...This time around I knew the changes I sought would not come without hard work. I know you, can appreciate hard work. The American Dream – your generation is probably the last that believed in and worked for it.  America was built on hard work, companies like: Ford Motor and GE were booming and you were a part of that movement. Hard work comes in all forms and sometimes emotional  and mental hard work can be equally if not more taxing than physical...."


So there it is friends. Tomorrow morning, I'll have the pleasure of sharing my story in a totally different medium - speaking. I so love my life! Maybe this is my version of "The American Dream."

Nothing owns me

There I was on the stationary bike, butt throbbing thinking, "Why do they have to make these seats so narrow and hard?" I was only about two minutes into the ride and my mind started racing with reasons to get off. The biggest reason: My butt hurt. Yet all the scenarios I came up with in my head -- there was not one valid reason to get off the bike. Getting off the first time makes it so much easier to get off the next time. And so I stayed. I gently moved my tush around for a small amount of relief and kept pedaling...10, 15, 20 minutes into the ride and with every interval I was inching closer to my goal.

Throughout this journey, there have been plenty of instances when an exercise or an exercise class has been challenging for me. I've found myself in some pretty compromising positions in exercise classes and just out doing my own thing in the gym, but I never let that come between me and my goal.  There I was in boot camp -- probably in retrospect, I was way too out of shape to really be there. Anyway,  I was out of breath, the whole room spinning. I had to walk away. Regroup. I went to the locker room, cried and went back in class for the second half. Sure, it's one thing to walk away from something if it's challenging but to completely give up and quit is just not an option for me. Like Vince Lombardi, said: "Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit." 

I'm pleased to say last week after just a week I was able to ride for an hour. So now that I can go the distance - it's the mental thing. Coach now has moved me into intervals - the more intensity the more calories you burn. So today, I done 25 minutes with 10 burst of speed for 30 seconds with an incline of 7.  Since, I'm still rehabbing my leg. Coach feels the bike is the best bang for my buck. He doesn't want me jumping, jogging just yet too risky - don't want to re-injure. So for now I'm just riding hard. Nothing owns me.

Fat for a reason

While talking with my speaking coach and soon to be co-author of my book. She feels the time for me to make my mark (blogging, speaking) is so very timely. With obesity being such a huge health concern and shows like "Biggest Loser" at the forefront of our minds. She feels that my story is so relevant, inspiring, refreshing.

As I reflected on our conversation, the answer to my life long burning question came to me. Aha! If I wouldn't have lived my life as an obese person, struggled with my identity and self-worth.  I wouldn't be able to share my amazing story, reach people, and change lives. There would be no Farewell Fatso!, motivational speaking, and book. In retrospect, all the pain and struggles make me who I am. I can't even imagine my life any other way.  I'm fat for a reason. Aren't you glad I'm fat?

Hello, August!

Oh, sweet August, I greet you with great enthusiasm and quite the to-do-list. I'm partial to August because it's the month I was born.  In nineteen days, I'll celebrate my 39th birthday. One year away from my big "Fit By Forty," goal.  But, let me not get ahead of myself -- I have a way of doing that - plenty to do before that date.

This August really is going to trump others because there are some positive life changing events happening this month. I hate to be so secretive with y'all I just want to make sure I have all the details firmed up before I share the news about the changes forthcoming - y'all understand, right? Although I anticipate certain things to happen I realize the Universe will work them out or not. With that said, I will do my part to work on the things that I directly have control over - diet and exercise routine. So this month it's time to up the ante. I'm so sick of being stuck in this body. Enough said. Anyhoo, I have two meetings today and may be able to share at least some news tomorrow. I declare August 2011 as SPECTAULAR!